Appropriate discipline is an expression of love and an effective means of guiding children's behavior. Discipline is far more complex than a few swats on the bottom; it is an art.
Tolerating a child's misbehavior or making excuses like "he's tired," "he didn't nap," or "he's in a bad mood" is an irresponsible approach to parenting.
New Zealand Parents' "Cold Treatment": Letting Children Experience Consequences
Bernny from New Zealand has a 2.5-year-old son and a 6-month-old daughter
In New Zealand, hitting children is illegal, so parents generally avoid corporal punishment. If her son acts up in public without disturbing others, Bernny usually employs "cold treatment"—letting him throw his tantrum.If it does disturb others, Bernny carries the child away to a quiet, open space and lets him continue his tantrum until he tires of it. Bernny believes children throw tantrums to attract parental attention or achieve certain goals through this behavior.
If the child sees his tantrum has no effect, he will naturally choose to give up.
For a while, the eldest son kept throwing pebbles into the garden pond, refusing to stop despite repeated warnings. Bernny would say to him, "Look, you hurt the little fish and messed up the pond. Doesn't it look ugly now?" Then Bernny would ask his son to pick the stones out of the pond.Sometimes the boy would refuse to comply. If he did, Bernny wouldn't force him. Instead, Bernny would get down and retrieve the stones himself to show his son.If this happened when his son was clamoring to play with him, Bernny would seize the moment for a lesson: "Look, you threw stones into the pond. Now I have to retrieve them and can't play with you." Through this, his son experienced the consequences of his misbehavior. He came to understand that throwing stones into the pond was truly unacceptable.Bernny believes children aren't as clueless as we imagine—they just have weaker self-control. Therefore, he advocates treating children as individuals from a young age, teaching them responsibility and self-discipline. Japanese Parents Avoid Public Punishment: Preserving Children's Dignity Tsukuba, Japan Son: 2.5 years old In Japanese families, fathers hold absolute authority.It is precisely this habit of obedience that has made the Japanese the most disciplined and collectivist nation. When children make mistakes, Japanese parents employ various disciplinary measures. These include canceling outings, withholding meals, or administering moderate physical punishment.
However, if a child misbehaves in public, parents generally refrain from disciplining them openly.
Like most Japanese parents, TsukuBa believes disciplining children in public violates etiquette and damages their self-esteem. Therefore, she waits until returning home to discuss her child's behavior or administer consequences.
South Korean Parents Adopt New Punishment: Confiscating Kids' Phones!
For defiant children, parents seeking alternatives to physical punishment or the infamous "locking them in a closet with a live octopus" might consider confiscating their phones.
Research by a Korean advertising agency reveals that phones have become the most cherished personal item among Korean teens, making confiscation akin to stripping them of their dignity.
Cheil Communication's survey found that 77.5% of 13- to 15-year-olds consider phones "indispensable," while 76.7% of 16- to 18-year-olds share this view.
The survey indicates that losing their phones leaves teens feeling isolated and helpless. Confiscating their phones thus serves as a highly effective punishment.
American Parents' Secret Weapon: "Time-Out"
In American homes and kindergartens, parents and teachers often employ a method called "time-out" to discipline misbehaving children.For example: When a child misbehaves at home or fights with other children, parents carry them to their own bedroom and leave them alone for three minutes. After three minutes, parents promptly retrieve them and use the opportunity to reason with them, urging them to correct their behavior. This educational method proves highly effective and carries a certain deterrent effect for children, whether at home or in kindergarten.Why is this?
First, U.S. law mandates that children must always have adult supervision and protection. In this environment, children rarely experience emotional neglect or isolation. Therefore, being isolated and "neglected" inevitably causes a strong psychological shock.Second, children typically possess strong conformity tendencies and group awareness. Separating them from the group makes them feel singled out, creating a sense of "inequality" that children are highly sensitive to.
This also signals to them: misbehavior is not accepted by others. Additionally, temporarily removing the misbehaving child can ease the tense atmosphere between adults and the child, allowing the child to calmly reflect on their actions.