Many adults habitually issue commands to children, imposing their own thoughts and subjective desires upon them while rarely considering the child's inner perspective. This is a flawed approach. In parent-child education, parents have much to learn, with the most crucial lesson being to respect the child's developmental path. From the perspective of human needs, provide them with a nurturing environment for growth.
Recently, renowned Taiwanese psychologist Mr. Gu Guozhi delivered a parenting education lecture to numerous parents, exploring the topic from the perspective of human needs. Several on-site experiential activities helped parents recognize their own educational pitfalls from the heart.
On-Site Activity: Parents Experience the "Child" Role
"Let's do an activity. Please form pairs: one parent, one child. Those playing children, squat down and look up at your 'parent.' Parents, begin scolding and lecturing your child."" After a few seconds of preparation, the parents immersed themselves in their roles: those playing parents scolded the "children" sternly from a position of authority, while those playing children looked around anxiously. Then, the parents switched roles to experience the other perspective."Now, if you were the child, how would you feel in this situation?" Teacher Gu Guozhi posed the question. After a moment of reflection, parents shared their thoughts: "Fear," "Terror," "Resistance," "Anger"—a cascade of negative emotions emerged."I never noticed these details before. Only when you become the 'little person' do you feel truly helpless," one parent reflected. "From now on, I'll always squat down when talking to my child—placing myself at eye level. Only then can I understand their true thoughts and educate them effectively."
Parenting Q&A
Q: My first grader copied homework for others and received payment, claiming it was rightfully earned labor. How should I address this?
A: Many parents teach their children that pocket money should be earned through work, fostering independence from a young age. Yet some overlook explaining how to legitimately earn compensation.When a child copies homework for others, they perceive it as helping someone and thus deserving payment. As parents, avoid reacting angrily in such situations. Instead, first acknowledge the validity of receiving compensation for effort—consistent with previous teachings—to prevent psychological conflict. Then, on this unified foundation, explain which actions are acceptable and which are not.
Q: My child is upset after having their toy snatched. What should I do?
A: If the toy was snatched rudely, the child will likely feel hurt. First, comfort your child. Then, take them to find the child who took the toy and ask them to return it. Actively defend your child's property rights without worrying about saving face, but use a gentle tone. After resolving the issue, teach your child to share toys with peers and find joy in playing together.
Q: What should I do if my child comes home injured from a fight?
A:First, parents should tend to the child's wounds and inquire about the cause. If the child is reluctant to discuss it, do not press them. Follow up at school the next day to understand the situation fully. Second, avoid overreacting. Some parents constantly fear their child is being wronged or bullied, insisting on assigning blame. In reality, minor altercations among children are normal. Within days, the two might even become friends.
Related Link: How Environment Shapes Personality
Children raised in a nitpicking environment learn to criticize others.
Children raised in an environment of verbal abuse learn to withdraw and feel inferior.
Children raised in an environment of conflicting values learn to confuse right from wrong.
Children raised in an environment of support and encouragement learn self-respect and self-love.
Children raised in an environment of fairness and justice learn to treat others equally.
Children raised in an environment of warmth and affection learn to see life as full of hope.