Everyone has things they fear. When confronted with them, we scream, tremble, and feel terror—a natural defense mechanism that helps us react swiftly. When facing small fears in daily life, we might as well embrace them."My heart rate at times like this probably beats faster than after running a mile." Sometimes while picking or washing vegetables, a perfectly camouflaged cabbage worm would peek out, sending her jumping up in fright. She'd kick over the trash can with one foot and smash the dishes on the cutting board with the other. Frustrating! Of course, dinner was ruined—both cooking and eating.The moment she spots one of those big, black creatures, she freezes, unable to move or breathe. Once, while searching for a cup, she opened the base cabinet door only to discover a swarm of them. As they scattered in panic, Zhang Shu sat on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. "I don't know why I'm so afraid of them. They run faster than Liu Xiang when they see me. I could poison them, but they can't harm me.But I still fear them. I still have nightmares."
Hu Dacheng, on the other hand, dreads underground, enclosed spaces. Despite its convenience, he never dares take the subway to work. His girlfriend has long wanted to explore the basement level of Beijing's Oriental Plaza with him—to catch a movie or browse the designer clothing stores she adores. Yet whenever she suggests it, he makes excuses about urgent matters. How long could he keep this up?Should he tell his girlfriend he's actually afraid? But for a grown man to be scared of this—it sounds embarrassing, doesn't it?
Fear of dogs, fear of butterflies, fear of enclosed spaces, fear of being alone. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), one in every two adults suffers from some form of phobia, and for some, these fears have become severe enough to interfere with daily life.French psychologist Christophe André believes that if a phobia isn't too severe and didn't develop too early in life, it's possible to overcome it through personal effort. In other words, we can learn to accept our fears and coexist peacefully with them.
Common Phobias
1. Arachnophobia (Fear of Spiders)
The first step to overcoming this fear is to look at pictures of spiders.
2. Hemophobia (Fear of Blood)
The sight of blood or the smell of hospitals can make hemophobes uncomfortable. Try contracting your abdomen to alleviate discomfort.
3. Claustrophobia
Remember that humans can survive in confined spaces. You should force yourself to overcome this fear, as it severely disrupts daily life.
A Malfunctioning Alarm
Imagine a car alarm. Normally, it only sounds when glass or doors are broken.Its volume is neither too loud nor too soft, and its duration is just long enough to be heard and attract attention without alarming the entire neighborhood. Moreover, we can stop it. But if the alarm malfunctions, its sound becomes entirely different: it rings too quickly, too loudly, too frequently, and too persistently, resulting in exhaustion and inappropriateness.
Normal fear functions like a properly calibrated alarm. Its purpose is to alert people to danger and prompt them to confront it.
In contrast, pathological fear resembles a malfunctioning alarm, triggering bizarre reactions. For instance, blushing at mention of weather conditions, or refusing to enter a basement due to spiders...This irrational, intense fear triggers a flight response, constituting a phobia.
Disruption of Daily Life
Normal fear falls within the realm of emotion: its intensity is limited, stemming from a genuine hazardous situation. Yet it does not hinder the individual; rather, it prompts appropriate actions for self-protection. For instance, a climber's fear of heights compels cautious movement to ensure safety.
Phobic fear, however, is pathological: uncontrollable, not triggered by actual danger, it impedes action and persists, permeating one's entire life. It breeds thoughts like "I must never encounter this."The most common phobias involve animals, natural elements (water, heights, darkness, thunderstorms...), and public spaces. There is also a range of phobias related to bodily sensations, such as fear of suffocation, vomiting, falling...
Women are twice as likely as men to suffer from phobias
All studies show the same result: women are twice as likely as men to suffer from phobias!This gender disparity stems from several causes. Evolutionary psychologists trace it back to prehistoric human genetics: men tasked with hunting should not be fearful, while women responsible for tending fires and children needed heightened vigilance, relying on fear.
Evolution perpetuated this gap between the sexes.Young girls are more sensitive to fears conveyed by parents, relatives, and society. This stems from their heightened sensitivity in interpersonal and emotional domains—they observe and decode others' emotions more keenly. While this ability fosters empathy, it also makes them susceptible to absorbing others' fears. Furthermore, in our era, parents still tend to be more tolerant of girls' fears while encouraging boys to conquer theirs.
Normalizing Fear
A phobia is an exaggerated emotional response to a specific situation, much like an allergy is an exaggerated immune response to a specific allergen. To treat a phobia, one must awaken and then weaken this conditioned reflex. This is achieved by gradually and repeatedly exposing oneself to the feared situation. Behavioral and cognitive therapy is based on this principle, and numerous scientific studies have confirmed its effectiveness.
Thus, phobias can be cured—sometimes even through surprisingly rapid methods—provided one learns to confront their fears directly. This process resembles desensitization to allergens.For example, to treat a fear of pigeons, one might start by looking at pictures of pigeons, then observe real pigeons, and eventually visit a pigeon-filled plaza...
The goal isn't necessarily to eliminate fear entirely (though that would be ideal), but to normalize it: to adapt to and weaken the fear, coexisting peacefully with it. After all, isn't someone who carries a little fear more endearing, as long as it doesn't disrupt daily life?
4 Tips for Overcoming Phobias
1. Take it slow, progress gradually
Excessive fear restricts our freedom, enslaving us. We must resist it incrementally. View overwhelming fear as an uninvited guest, distinguishing what you desire (freedom to live) from what your fear demands (your enslavement).
2. Identify the source of your fear
Understanding the origin of fear can be helpful. But don't waste all your time and energy digging for its roots. Have the courage to confront your specific fears head-on.
3. Practice relaxation and meditation
Train yourself to accept your fear—tell it, "You're just fear." Simultaneously, embrace the worst-case scenario: tell yourself, "I must first accept these frightening thoughts and images. Then I will act with greater strength and calm, ultimately freeing myself from fear."
4. Cultivate the Habit of Confronting It
Excessive fear often stems from heightened emotions, which never truly vanish—they are also a form of wealth. Therefore, develop the habit of facing your fears. If you fear social interactions, join a theater group; if you fear dogs, try petting every dog you encounter.