A U.S. survey revealed that 62% of divorces are initiated by wives. This statistic alarms many men and raises a crucial question: How can men nurture their marriages to achieve both career and marital success? Taiwan's Health magazine offers expert advice and strategies.
How Men Can Nurture Their Marriages
1. Frequently tell her "I love you" and "I understand"
A humorous anecdote vividly illustrates the gender difference: As men approach death, they typically rush to settle lifelong assets or careers, while women grasp their husbands' hands and ask, "Did you love only me in your lifetime?"
For women, "I love you" can never be said too often. Feeling cherished and valued is their most fundamental need in marriage. Husbands should put thought into making their expressions more romantic and creative. For instance, give your wife a hug when waking up and whisper it in her ear. During the workday, surprise her with a call to say those three words—guaranteed to make her heart bloom.Or write a little note and stick it on the kitchen counter or mirror—a chance sighting will bring another wave of warmth.
"I understand" is another invaluable phrase. Wives often carry burdens or struggles that husbands might dismiss as trivial. But simply listening quietly and occasionally saying "I understand" or "That makes sense" can offer immense comfort.
2. List the 5 household chores your wife most wants you to do
In his book When Mr. Right Meets Miss Love, American psychologist Quimby suggests husbands ask their wives to list five household tasks they most wish their husbands would help with, then show support and care through action. These tasks must be specific, such as "bathe the children," "take out the trash," or "clean the house."
A U.S. study found that men who willingly do housework are more attractive, and their children tend to be more obedient. When fathers participate in household chores, they set a positive example for their children, teaching them social skills. This also makes wives happier.
3. Ignite your wife's passion with gratitude and praise.As noted by Michael Ton, author of Who Are You, Man?, women are often willing to go to great lengths for the men they love. However, this requires consistent affirmation from their partners. If husbands remain indifferent and take their wives' efforts for granted, even the most passionate hearts will eventually grow cold. "In truth, husbands need only express appreciation and gratitude at the right moments to reignite the passion in their wives' hearts."
From outward physical traits to inner virtues, every quality deserves praise.Remember, saying it once isn't enough. If you want someone to remember something, repeat it at least five times. And don't forget to praise your wife's virtues in front of others. When these words reach her ears, they'll ignite her love even more. Because a woman who lives in praise will always shine brightly and beautifully...
4. Be tender and considerate in bed, not just fierce
"After intimacy, have you ever asked your wife how she felt?" "What positions make her most comfortable?" "Do you know her most sensitive areas?" Or "What arouses her?" If you can't answer these questions, you may need to rediscover your wife's body and desires. According to sexologists' observations, over half of wives don't enjoy intimacy and often agree only to satisfy their husbands' needs.This negativity poisons intimacy, ultimately leading to sexual—and marital—disharmony...
5. Minimize hurtful, negative remarks
"Why can't you be as considerate as so-and-so's wife?" "Why did I ever marry you?" "Let's just get divorced." Such devastating words are marital poison.One hurtful remark cannot be undone by ten kind words. Therefore, cultivate the habit of avoiding harsh responses to your wife. If conflicts escalate, take time apart to cool down before communicating.
Five Essential Rules for Marital Happiness
1. Others' romances seem magical, while yours feels mundane.
To many, romance and love appear synonymous. Couples around us often share experiences more dazzling than any romance novel.It seems everyone's love story has something unique—some meet in extraordinary ways, others endure winding courtships, while many bask in the bliss of flowers, candlelit dinners, concerts, and picnics. Yet almost everyone feels their own romance is mundane. Even those enviable couples rarely see themselves as special—a truly curious phenomenon.Truth is, love is fundamentally ordinary. It has its romantic highlights, but mostly it's mundane. We always see the bright spots in others' lives while experiencing the dullness of our own. What does it matter if it's romantic or not? Pursuing happiness is the true essence of love.
Second First love is beautiful, but rarely has a happy ending.
In countless classic love stories, roughly eighty percent revolve around first loves. First love is like a green apple—it gives off an enticing fragrance, but tastes unbearably tart. In movies and TV shows, first loves always seem to lead enviably happy lives, yet in real life, most first love stories end in failure.
The beauty of first love lies in its embodiment of a young, immature soul's yearning for fairy tales. It's like a child believing they can fly freely like a witch by riding a broomstick. When one first experiences intense attraction to the opposite sex, they imagine they will personally star in a moving romantic fairy tale.Reenacting scenes from romantic stories—like watching meteor showers together or meeting by a lake after the rain—can be utterly enchanting. After all, any scene detached from reality appears exceptionally beautiful. Yet marriage is too grounded in reality. As time passes, the backdrop of reality overtakes the illusory facade, and the beauty of first love shatters like a crystal ball before your eyes.
First love is more like a process of self-admiration. What one truly adores is the shadow in their heart; the other is merely a stand-in for the dream lover. Because first love is exceptionally demanding, failure is only natural.
Three: Before marriage, there are too few who suit you; after marriage, there are too many.
When you need an awl, you search every drawer in the house and find none;yet when you no longer need it, it appears before you without warning. The Creator has a playful nature, even when it comes to love. When you list your expectations for love on paper and eagerly await its arrival, it often passes you by—either because you share no common interests with this person, or because no spark ignites with that one.Finding your ideal partner is something that can only be encountered, not sought. Thus, many people settle for relationships that aren't perfect.
If you never find someone who truly captivates you, you can still live a peaceful and stable life. Yet, unfortunately, after marriage, there's always a chance you'll encounter that person you once longed for in some setting. Perhaps a single word, or a glance, could reignite the flame in your heart.Sometimes you wonder if this is fate's design or the devil's temptation. Ultimately, though, the question circles back to Plato's theory of the ear of corn: if you spend your entire life waiting, you will find the one most suited for you. But can you truly wait a lifetime? Since you cannot, cherish the ear of corn you hold in your hand.
No matter why two people who once loved each other part ways, an indescribable bond remains. Human memory tends to preserve the beautiful moments, so even painful romances become cherished memories. As movies often depict, meeting your first love after thirty years can still spark countless stories. An ex-lover is a weapon of mass destruction, capable of causing devastating consequences at any moment.To safeguard your love, there's no better strategy than befriending your partner's former lover. After all, the most dangerous place is also the safest. Transforming their connection into a bond between two families, making all hidden ties transparent, is a wise move. When two families come together, each strives to appear happier than the other—much like two molecules whose tightly bound atoms resist reaction. This is precisely the desired outcome.
Five: Divorce is always inevitable.