During the interview, when asked why his son had always had a strained relationship with him, Xu Lei (pseudonym) lowered his head and admitted that perhaps he had disciplined his son too harshly when he was young, primarily through violent beatings.
Teacher Anran from the Tai'an Anran Psychological Counseling Research Center analyzed that in this case, Xu Lei used violent methods to discipline his son during childhood, beating him severely whenever the child complained.
In reality, whether a child develops a benevolent or hostile view of society after birth is learned from their parents. When parents show care and affection, children perceive a positive world; if parents are violent or indifferent, the child's worldview becomes fixed in that negative image. This is especially true for boys, whose gender identity and understanding of masculinity are shaped by their fathers.Psychologically speaking, the closer the relationship with someone who strikes or criticizes them, the deeper the hatred toward that person. In this case, Xu Lei's frequent use of violence shaped his son's perception of society as inherently violent. Analyzing it this way, both father and son bear responsibility for how events unfolded.
Teacher An Ran advises that parental love should be gentle yet firm. Children should grow in an environment of love while also being guided by clear boundaries—avoiding excessive indulgence. When children experience this kind of love from their parents, they will reciprocate it toward their parents and others in the future. Crucially, violent methods should be avoided whenever possible.