Seeing news of elderly parents evicted by their children, scavenging trash to fund their grandchildren's education only to have their homes seized by those same grandchildren, truly stirs profound emotion. Such filial disrespect from children and grandchildren must be condemned. Yet parents should also reflect: Could this bitter outcome stem from overindulgence? Might the current state of their relationships with children and grandchildren be linked to their own past thoughts and actions?
Revealing the terrifying consequences of indulgence:
Even if you treat your child exceptionally well, endure any hardship for them, and teach them filial piety—if you indulge them, what happens psychologically?—"Your kindness is my right. If you fail to meet my demands, you've wronged me. I will hate you and seek revenge!"
In other words, spoiling undermines all efforts to teach filial piety and respect for parents because it expels the deep-seated moral principle of "fairness" from the human heart! Instead of an inner voice telling the child, "Your parents raised you well; you should be filial and respectful toward them, caring for them in their old age," the child internalizes from their parents' indulgent behavior: "My parents being kind to me is their duty; they owe me.".
Thus, regardless of whether they witness or experience their parents' hardships, they cultivate hatred toward them, becoming cold and ruthless. It's hard to rule out that sometimes children feel guilt upon seeing their parents' toil, experiencing moral pressure when demanding money or being unfilial. But the force of their hatred swiftly overwhelms any moral restraint!
Spoiling a child actually makes them hate their parents? Seems hard to fathom, right?
It's actually quite simple! It's the logical outcome of the mindset: "Your kindness toward me is a given, it's what you owe me." In other words, following this line of thinking inevitably leads to hatred.
Because once a child views parental indulgence as an obligation, it implies they feel no duty to show filial piety or respect toward their parents. Psychologically, they must rationalize this belief—that "my parents owe me"—and justify demanding more to convince themselves with greater righteousness. The method? Amplifying the force of hatred.
In truth, excessive indulgence breeds more than resentment. If you're not particularly successful, you'll face not only hatred but also your child's contempt. In their psychological competition with others, if your social standing is low, you become an embarrassment to them—a source of shame for their existence. They may curse their fate, wondering why their father isn't someone powerful like Li Gang, but you.