Learning is the most interesting and greatest game in life. All children are born believing this, and they will continue to believe it until we convince them that learning is an arduous and unpleasant task. Some children never truly encounter this difficulty and spend their entire lives believing that learning is the only worthwhile and enjoyable game to play. We give such individuals a name—we call them geniuses.——Glenn Doman
Neglecting Children's Physiological Maturity
Children's physical and mental development follows a specific sequence. Early education must be based on appropriate physiological maturity and timely training to achieve good results.Both premature and delayed intervention can harm children. We all know stories of wolf children and pig children—they missed critical windows for developing language, social norms, and other intelligences. Even with scientists providing ideal conditions, they couldn't catch up to the intellectual level of ordinary children. Prematurely developing a specific intelligence not only fails to achieve the desired results but can also harm the child. Parents should familiarize themselves with the concept of sensitive periods in child development.
Narrowing the Concept of "Learning"
When discussing learning, many immediately envision sitting in a classroom listening to lectures, or memorizing numerous theorems and facts. This understanding is overly narrow and rigid. Consider when an infant first distinguishes their mother from others; when a young boy, curious about the opposite sex, flips through "The Psychology of Women" in a bookstore;When someone cautiously mimics others during their first Western meal; when a girl observes celebrities' fashion choices; when someone reads the manual for a new appliance; when a driver consults a map to navigate an unfamiliar route... These are all forms of learning—and often the most crucial kind. Learning arises from necessity: when we seek knowledge or skills we currently lack.Eighty percent of the knowledge people use in life is acquired outside the classroom—things like social etiquette, emotional regulation, adaptability, and various social experiences and unwritten rules.Classroom learning is merely one form of education—and not the most crucial one. It may secure high grades, admission to prestigious universities, or a golden ticket into the job market. Yet it remains just an entry ticket. How we ultimately break through depends on the skills honed outside the classroom and the knowledge acquired after leaving school.
My point is this: don't narrowly define learning, so you won't narrowly demand it from children. For young children, learning happens through play and daily life. Every question they ask is learning; every game or activity they engage in is learning.For young children, their boundless curiosity and interests are nature's greatest gifts. These enable them to expand their knowledge and abilities. Extensive exploration and an enthusiastic state of mind are crucial for young learners—the former helps children continually discover their talents, while the latter fosters inner harmony and psychological self-construction.
Prioritizing Outcomes Over Process
First, joy matters more than results.The feelings children gain from the process and the attitudes they develop are more important than the specific outcomes they learn. Even if a child hasn't learned much, the joy they experience during the learning process—the love for learning and knowledge—is more valuable than anything else.
Some overly utilitarian parents constantly expect their children to achieve early, such as memorizing Tang poems, learning vocabulary, or studying math. This is essentially chasing the tail.In reality, memorizing a few more Tang poems or recognizing a handful more Chinese characters offers only a fleeting advantage that quickly fades. Long-term, it brings no particular benefit to the child. If a child develops an aversion to learning due to parents' deliberate, utilitarian demands, it becomes a case of sacrificing the greater for the lesser.
Second, the training children gain from the process is more important than the outcome.For infants, seeing matters more than understanding, and hearing matters more than comprehending. Sensory perception is the precursor to intelligence. Even if a child cannot grasp the meaning or quickly forgets what they memorized (like reciting Tang poems), the act of memorization itself is significant. This process already greatly promotes the development of a child's intelligence.
In summary, we do not oppose intellectual development, nor do we oppose children being well-rounded and knowledgeable. However, we must prioritize the child's inner harmony.For young children, we should avoid imposing specific learning goals or schedules. Instead, we should provide ample support and attention to their natural interests and spontaneous expressions. When we refrain from deliberate pursuit, the outcomes often yield unexpected rewards. Meng Qian: Senior Infant Care Instructor Trainer, Ministry of Labor Council Member, China Family Education Professional Committee