You might envy others who stand on grand stages or debate platforms delivering eloquent speeches, or engage in fierce verbal sparring. Yet when you look at yourself in real life, you often feel tongue-tied, constantly saying the wrong thing. In truth, if you learn to skillfully weave some speaking techniques into your own conversations, you might prove no less impressive than those orators on the podium.
Of course, knowing how to use appropriate language when interacting with colleagues and superiors is no easy feat. Experts advise getting to the point quickly in business conversations. Yet after getting to the point, some people tend to use tedious preambles like: "I originally thought..." or"We might consider..." This significantly diminishes the impact of your message. Remember, modesty is merely window dressing; such tactics only prolong discussions—and before you know it, you're left out of the conversation.
Eliminating these inappropriately worded phrases is actually quite simple—the key is to make your speech sound more impactful. Stuttgart-based rhetoric trainer and author Zngo Vogel asserts that achieving this is straightforward: "Language is like a personal calling card. You can fully express your individuality through your words, making yourself stand out."We already possess thousands of words in our minds. The challenge now is how to awaken these words and turn them into assets for our success. Only by consciously and skillfully using language—and avoiding meaningless, hollow phrases—can we avoid passivity and instead express ourselves with ease and confidence.To achieve this, consider these essential principles:
Replace "but" with "and"
Imagine you agree with a colleague's idea. You might say, "That's a great idea, but you must..." While this makes your words sound eloquent and sharp, it also diminishes their impact.Using "but" diminishes your affirmation. Instead, express your appreciation and suggestions with a specific hope: "I think this suggestion is excellent, and if we tweak it slightly here, it might be even better..."
Avoid saying "to be honest"
During company meetings, various proposals are discussed.So you tell a colleague, "Honestly, I think..." To others, it seems like you're emphasizing your sincerity. Of course you're sincere, but why emphasize it? It's better to say: "I think we should..."
Don't say "First," say "Already"
You need to report progress on a project to your boss.You tell your boss: "I must first familiarize myself with this task." Think about it—this phrasing might make your boss (and yourself) feel like you still have a lot to do, rather than acknowledging you've already accomplished something. Such language conveys pessimism, not optimism. It's better to say: "Yes, I'm already quite familiar with this task."
Don't say "just"
At a brainstorming session, you propose an idea and say: "This is just a suggestion." Note: This is absolutely unacceptable! It devalues your idea, your contribution, and your own worth. What should be a collaborative, team-spirited proposal instead makes colleagues perceive you as lacking confidence.Instead, say: "This is my suggestion."
Don't say "wrong," say "incorrect"
A colleague accidentally got a work plan wet and is apologizing to the client. You know he made a mistake that upset the client, so you tell him: "This is your fault, and you must take responsibility." This approach will only make him resentful.Your goal is to resolve the conflict and avoid escalation. Express your disagreement tactfully and state your reasoning objectively. For example: "There was indeed an issue with your approach, and it would be best if you took responsibility for it."
Don't say "Originally..."
You and your conversation partner hold differing views on a matter. You casually remark: "I originally held a different opinion."" This seemingly minor word not only fails to emphasize your stance but actually leaves you without one. Similarly, phrases like "indeed" or "strictly speaking" should be replaced with a straightforward: "I have a different perspective on this."
Don't say "around X o'clock"; say "exactly X o'clock"
When calling an important business partner and saying, "I'll call you back around this weekend." This gives the impression you're avoiding a firm commitment—or worse, that you're unreliable. Instead, say: "I'll call you back tomorrow at 11:00 sharp."
Don't say "must..."—say "please..."
You're about to submit a project you're responsible for. Everyone is already under significant pressure, and if you tell them, "You absolutely must reconsider..." this tone is unlikely to boost efficiency. Instead, it may add pressure and cause resistance. But what if you flip it? Who would refuse a friendly and polite request? So it's best to say, "Please consider..."