Around ages two or three, children become curious about their gender, wanting to know what boys and girls "should" be like. How should parents respond at this stage?
Case Study: Lingling, age 2, is usually very timid. Especially at night, if her mother leaves her room or turns off the light before she falls asleep, she bursts into tears. Her mother often tells her to be brave like a boy.
Lingling noticed that the boy next door, who often visited her home, was indeed braver than her, but he didn't have pigtails. Lingling concluded that if she cut her hair short, she would become a boy and naturally become brave. One day, she innocently told her mother she wanted to cut off her pigtails and have her hair cut very, very short, just like the boy next door, so she would definitely become brave.Her mother was both amused and exasperated by this.
Gender Differences: Gradually Widening Over Time
Experts once believed male and female hormones "shaped" the brain. However, studies on unborn mouse brains revealed that differences in the number and types of male and female genes existed before hormones took effect.This doesn't mean gender differences are set in stone. Canadian research indicates boys are born more active than girls, but parents and societal influences continually reinforce and amplify these differences as children grow.
Note: Boys' brains are slightly larger than girls', but girls have stronger connections between the left and right hemispheres. Both genders effectively utilize different brain regions, leading to distinct learning styles.Girls tend to develop language skills, sensory perception, and cognitive abilities at a faster pace, while boys develop slightly later but often surpass girls in certain visual and spatial skills. Boys and Girls: Their Own Role Models Children typically love to imitate their parents, which helps them understand what is expected of boys or girls.Girls may emulate their mothers, happily playing in her toy kitchen; boys often prefer toy guns, monkey bars, or mimicking their fathers' speech patterns and behavior. They enjoy being called "big man" or "brave little guy." Of course, during early childhood, these gender role imitations may occasionally switch.
Tip: Don't be surprised if you see a boy playing with his mother's high heels. Sometimes children are simply imitating an adult, not necessarily a specific man or woman. As long as the child enjoys it, don't interfere with what toys or games they play with. Otherwise, you might stifle their enthusiasm for exploring diverse interests. Over time, children will naturally discover what kind of clothes they truly like or what activities they enjoy.
Gender-neutral toys: Ideal for this age group
Before age three, children have a vague understanding of their own gender. The differences between boys and girls seem mysterious to them, sparking curiosity. At this stage, they prioritize choosing toys based on personal preference. If parents use this opportunity for gender education, it can effectively support the healthy development of their child's gender identity.However, rigidly enforcing traditional gender norms limits children's learning scope and pathways. This not only complicates their choices but may also stifle their potential and opportunities to explore their full range of personality traits.
Tip: Allow children to gradually understand gender roles while providing gender-neutral toys, enabling them to return to their most natural state. Parents should observe and appreciate the traits and abilities their child exhibits, offering necessary support and space without distinction based on gender.