I'm a high school teacher who recently started working, teaching physics to seniors. This past March, a 17-year-old girl in my class burst into my life. One day, she slipped a letter into my homework pile that read:Teacher, I've fallen in love with you. I know it's wrong, but it's an irresistible truth. Please accept my pure love. I'll give you everything I have, or I won't be able to go on living."
After much consideration, I replied briefly: "Cherish your youth and focus on your studies. Don't let a momentary impulse lead to lifelong regret. You'll find a good home someday."
Unexpectedly, the very day I returned her notebook, she came to my office under the pretense of asking a question. All other teachers had already left. Seeing I was alone, she suddenly embraced me and began kissing and groping me without warning. Though I pushed her away, she clung to my legs, refusing to let go.
Left with no choice, I slapped her hard across the face. She ran out crying...
The next day, she didn't come to class. Her classmates said she'd gone home. She didn't attend school for a whole week after that. Out of concern as her teacher, I visited her home alone without informing her homeroom teacher (I worried I might have slapped her too hard).
I arrived at her house around seven in the evening. It wasn't dark yet, and her family wasn't home. She was lying alone on her bed. When she saw me enter, she was overjoyed and said she'd go into the inner room to make me some tea. A moment later, she emerged from the inner room completely naked and stood before me. I panicked, unsure what to do.
My mind raced with conflicting thoughts. Repeating my previous slap was clearly out of the question. I tried to retreat, aiming for the door, but she swiftly blocked my path. Stunned, I stood there, closing my eyes and pleading with her.
After a long stand-off, she finally broke down in tears, saying if I still refused her, she had only two paths left: either scream for help and accuse me of rape, or die right before my eyes. This was unbearable. In the end, I had no choice but to yield to her.
Later, she dropped out of school and started helping out at her parents' shop. She sought me out almost every week, either inviting me to her place or having me come to hers. Our relationship grew increasingly intimate.
She treated me well and was considerate. She insisted she wasn't a bad girl and wanted to marry me. I didn't know what to do. Though she was no longer a student and posed little threat to my career, what kind of situation was this? I hadn't even dated her properly—I'd just stumbled into marriage. But who could I talk to about this?Can I get rid of her?
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Reply:
Your situation is certainly uncommon, but the world is vast, and all kinds of people and circumstances exist. Since it happened and you went through with it, regret is useless now—the deed is done.
If you were passive at first, then afterward it was purely willingly.You feel wronged by jumping into a substantive relationship without courtship, but she's so devoted to you—so boldly romantic in pursuing you at any cost. This is the most intense form of courtship imaginable.
You should accept her unconditionally and take responsibility for the relationship that's already formed. Otherwise, even if no one knows, it will inevitably come to light over time. Then you won't be able to justify yourself by claiming passivity.
Besides, she won't easily let go of such an ideal partner. Though she lay at home ashamed and depressed after you slapped her, too afraid to confront you, if you don't comply now, she might not report you but could very well put on a show of being desperate enough to die.
As a minor, what drives such intense romantic pursuit? Is it her development, her early physical and psychological maturity, or other factors? Perhaps past sexual experiences, harassment, or exposure to explicit materials? Clearly, her behavior isn't random. You should discreetly investigate these possibilities.
If she is fundamentally a good girl, beyond maintaining the relationship, focus on cultivating genuine affection. Simultaneously, use your understanding to guide her back to her studies. If she can read more books and bridge the cultural gap between you, you might find the relationship more fulfilling.
If she's the restless type who only seeks you for sexual gratification, she'll discard you once boredom sets in. In that case, you'd have no choice but to withdraw decisively to protect yourself—your position is undeniably passive.
Your greatest misstep in this matter was visiting her home without bringing her homeroom teacher along. Otherwise, how could that scene have unfolded?
Of course, your visit wasn't solely driven by concern over that slap. You likely had other motives you can't quite articulate. You're human, after all, in the prime of your life. While her deep affection burns hot, you probably harbored thoughts of testing the waters—or at least a curiosity to explore further.
At this point, I see only two paths forward: either gradually distance yourself and grow cold, observing her reaction; or embrace the mistake as fate!