First, understand this: facing domestic violence alone is extremely difficult to resolve completely. Recurring abuse indicates you're in a disadvantaged position within your relationship—and likely always have been. If you don't want to involve the police, seek help from the Women's Federation. It's less dramatic, minimizes impact, and they have extensive experience handling such issues.
Psychological Support: Seeking a Therapist
Consulting a therapist offers high discretion, though it comes with significant limitations. Couple's therapy is typically required, and while it can be effective if the abuse is mild and the husband shows willingness to change, severe abusers are unlikely to cooperate with treatment.
Preparedness: Preserve Evidence
After an incident of domestic violence, you must preserve evidence! After an incident of domestic violence, you must preserve evidence! After an incident of domestic violence, you must preserve evidence!
This is worth repeating three times. Evidence serves two crucial purposes: first, it signals to the abuser that you are not someone who passively endures abuse but will fight back; second, it plays a vital role in any future litigation or arbitration. Evidence can include videos, audio recordings, medical documentation, or the actual weapon used.
Win Before You Fight
Avoid provoking the abuser—it only harms you. Learn to use strategy to shift your dynamic. First, become independent now—financially and emotionally. Prove you can thrive without him. Second, leverage external support to counterbalance his power. For instance, involve relatives or friends. He’s unlikely to abuse you openly in front of others.If this is the case, he is beyond redemption—divorce immediately.
Among the Thirty-Six Stratagems, retreat is the best move.
If you refuse outside help, wish to avoid escalation, yet cannot resolve the situation yourself, act decisively: divorce! Among the Thirty-Six Stratagems, retreat is the best move. Only by letting go of the wrong person can you meet the right one.