In this era, love and money remain humanity's most coveted focal points, often existing in a complex interplay of mutual opposition and interdependence: the perplexing plight of wealth without love, the anguish of love without wealth, the sorrow of money corrupting love, and the joy of love transforming money. Yet joy is likely the rarest of these. Materialism runs rampant, as people say.If materialism is already rampant, what good comes from me advocating that pure love should kiss money, with its complex nature?
My thinking is this: since materialism is already rampant, why not follow its rules? Everyone knows you get what you pay for—why shouldn't that apply to love?
This line of thought originated from a friend's clichéd story.While waiting to marry, she unfortunately crossed paths with a married man. To her eyes, he was truly exceptional: handsome, talented, well-educated, with considerable fame and a prominent position. They met by chance, became inseparable, and often met secretly in her rented studio apartment. My friend said she thought he was perfect in every way—considerate, attentive, caring, tolerant, and witty...Simply having him was enough to satisfy her; she didn't want to disrupt his existing life. All she wished to do was add to his happiness.
But as she continued to do so, an uneasy feeling began to creep into her heart. The source of this unease was her uncertainty about the depth of his feelings for her. In other words, she suddenly couldn't tell how he truly felt about her.Love was certainly there, but how much? She didn't want to compare herself to his wife and children, nor did she think she could measure up. All she wanted to know was, if there were a tangible standard to weigh it by, how much did she truly mean to him?
Women in love possess the strongest curiosity about this question, and I deeply sympathize. But love is inherently intangible—how could it be converted into concrete numbers?So, being utterly vulgar, I declared with absolute certainty: "Tell him you want to buy a house. Have him pay the down payment."
"Ask him for money?" My friend's eyes widened, as if my suggestion were an insult. "I've never asked him for money. If he buys me an apple, I'd give him a pear in return."
"Maybe that's exactly why he's with you," I chuckled. I told her that if she really felt guilty, she could always pay him back later. Men these days dread any kind of burden—emotional or financial—and want none of it. Since emotional commitment isn't an issue for them, let him shoulder the financial one instead.
Two days later, my friend found me with tear-stained eyes: "He said he's strapped for cash and can't justify it to his wife. He'll only give me 100,000 yen to rent a bigger place."
He doesn't love her. Or rather, he loves her, but that love is worth no more than 100,000 yen.
True, spending money doesn't guarantee love, but refusing to spend it proves a lack of love or insufficient affection. The amount itself matters little—it should fit the circumstances. If someone earning ten million a year gives you five million, that shows deep affection. If someone worth a hundred million gives you five million, the bond feels diluted. What if it's only one thousand yen? If he gives you every last cent, each penny becomes as precious as gold.The money he can give is the denominator; the money he actually gives is the numerator. The larger the number you get when you divide the numerator by the denominator, the more genuine the affection.
Yes, measuring love with money is absurd and laughable. Eden isn't a brothel with price tags, and men aren't springtime customers buying smiles. But women aren't prostitutes either—they won't throw themselves at anyone's money without a second thought.If a man's money is hard-earned, as if paying it out were carving flesh from his own body, then for a woman to spend a man's money is equally difficult—like sewing flesh that never belonged to her onto her own body. The trust and commitment she bares for a man, abandoning her resilience and pride, requires a courage so profound it must be gathered with both hands.
Yes, life is hard for both men and women. Meeting and loving each other is even harder. Therefore, no matter what, when you love, please offer sincerity. Sincerity comes from the heart, from the body, and also from money. When you spend money within your means for the one you love, it ceases to be mere numbers—it becomes warmth. This warmth never loses its value.And with this warmth, any ambiguous germs clinging to the money are cleansed—disinfected by love.
In relationships, women often feel surprised by free gifts, while men only truly cherish what they've paid for themselves. It fills them with a sense of accomplishment. So if you love him, go along with his nature and let him pay for you: if he has a little money, enjoy his handkerchiefs, scarves, hairpins, and face creams;if he has more money, enjoy his roses, fancy shirts, and candlelit dinners; if he has a lot of money, enjoy his BMWs, luxury cars, mansions, and villas; if he truly has no money at all, yet you truly, truly love him, it's okay—just enjoy his sweet words and tender heart. Even in poverty, the quality of these things a man offers can still be trusted; they are just as valuable as money.