Parental and teacher guidance is crucial in a child's upbringing. As the saying goes: "Parents ruin one child, teachers ruin many." Incorrect educational methods profoundly impact children. Destroying a child's self-esteem and demeaning them is unacceptable. Below are seven destructive behaviors to avoid:
1. Making children feel inadequate and unappreciated.For instance, telling them they're bad at studying, unattractive, socially inept, incapable of household chores, careless, and a burden to the family... essentially, they're good at nothing.
2. Constantly comparing them to "better" people. Phrases like "Look at so-and-so—they never cause their parents any trouble!" are frequently used. Such remarks are the most damaging and destructive, serving as the ultimate weapon to ruin a child.
3. Parents portraying themselves as family martyrs to instill guilt in children. Guilt-ridden individuals often resort to self-sabotage throughout life. Specific methods include: constantly reminding the child that since their birth, you haven't even seen a movie, that you've worried yourself sick over them, and specifying which illness was caused by them.Or insist that without caring for them, you would have achieved great success in your career long ago. 4. When speaking to children, never use a gentle tone or consultative manner. Always raise your voice above 70 decibels and employ an authoritative commanding tone. Incorporating sarcastic Chinese phrases enhances effectiveness. Examples include: "You're so stupid," "You're hopeless,""I've never seen anyone as dumb as you," "How could I have given birth to something like you?" and so on.
5. You must control every aspect of your child's life, granting them no freedom whatsoever. Monitor their whereabouts closely. If they keep a diary, find a way to read it; if they receive letters, inspect them. This will instill in them the feeling that they are not human, that they are merely a puppet manipulated by others.A person who doubts their humanity will never strive for self-improvement.
6. Master the art of redirecting anger. When faced with workplace frustrations, find excuses to vent your rage on your child upon returning home. Blame every issue on them, lecture them relentlessly, and forbid them from crying. This effectively shatters their self-esteem, deepens their sense of inferiority, and reinforces their perception of being less than human.
7. Humiliate your child publicly. The first six points are merely "individual drills" within the family. To utterly destroy them, this seventh point is the ultimate trump card. You must disparage and belittle them in front of outsiders—whether classmates, relatives, friends, or neighbors—until they are utterly mortified.Psychologically, this instills a fear of society and a sense of shame. A person who fears society and feels ashamed of themselves will struggle to find their place in the world.
Master these seven methods, and you will have effectively destroyed your child. Of course, you must continually refine your approach through practice to execute them flawlessly.