When disciplining children, establish what is known as the "bottom-line principle." What is this principle? The most crucial aspect is "keeping your word."
The most common example of parents lacking discipline is when they agree not to buy anything while out, yet when the child throws a tantrum demanding toys or snacks on the street, parents often give in or bargain with "I'll buy you ×× if you stop crying." Or when it's the child's responsibility to tidy up toys, the mother scolds while helping to put them away.The oft-repeated threat, "If you don't eat now, I won't feed you when you get hungry later!" vanishes like the wind the moment the child cries out in hunger, prompting parents to immediately prepare food... Put yourself in the child's shoes: with such a lack of principled boundaries, would you still feel compelled to obey?
To cultivate children's habit of understanding and adhering to parental "principles and boundaries," parents must become "language learning machines," investing time and effort to persist. Some mothers, unable to tolerate their children's procrastination and repeated need for instruction, feel it's faster to just tidy up themselves.In truth, for the child's long-term development, this effort is essential. Seeking temporary "convenience and speed" now will only lead to decades of "inconvenience" and pain later.
The hardest part of upholding these "principles and boundaries" is facing a child's pleas and tears. Seeing them give up enjoyable activities because they broke the rules can make anyone waver.But parents must understand: children can be raised without physical punishment or harsh words, through democratic methods. Yet the "principles and boundaries" of discipline must be made crystal clear to them. Otherwise, they will become spoiled, unreasonable, and irresponsible. As adults, they'll lack personal boundaries—harming others and suffering themselves.