Pocketing a child's handkerchief or grabbing a piece of candy from a supermarket shelf to clutch in one's palm—such incidents frequently occur among children aged 2 to 5.Whether this "first time" of taking things without permission becomes a recurring behavior depends entirely on how seriously parents take it and the approach they adopt. Only when children truly understand that "you don't take things that aren't yours" can they genuinely control themselves and show restraint.Those little shoes were just too pretty: One day, Feifei came back from Yuanyuan's house with her little fists clenched tight. Then, she opened her hands in front of her mom, palms cradling a pair of miniature crystal shoes. "Did Auntie give them to you?" Feifei casually replied, "I found them on the floor at Auntie's house."Why this happens: When 3- or 4-year-olds take others' belongings, it stems from an inner sense of need: "I don't have that," "I like that," "I want that"... This need drives the act of taking. Moreover, they often believe that anything they like or desire should be theirs. Parents' inappropriate response: Seeing the item in Feifei's hand, her mother said, "Our families are close, but you absolutely must never take things from other children's homes. Understand?"This approach sends the wrong message: whether taking belongs depends on the relationship between families. It hinders children's understanding of property rights, blurs moral boundaries, and encourages repetition of this inappropriate behavior. Parents might think, "It's just a small thing—let it go." But remember the ancient saying: "Do not neglect to do good because it is small; do not do evil because it is small."If children grow accustomed to taking others' "needles" as little ones, they may well steal others' "gold" when they grow up. Therefore, things that shouldn't be done must never be done, even once. Achieving the Goal: ◎ Identify the Owner of Items: Children aged 3-4 lack a concept of "property rights" and ownership awareness. At home, parents can use games to help children develop a sense of "belonging." For example, play an object recognition game: identify which items belong to Dad, which to Mom, and which are the child's own.Explain to your child that everyone has their own belongings, and others shouldn't touch them. Parents should lead by example—even when taking a child's toy, always ask permission first. This is the best way to teach children to respect others' ownership. ◎ Empathize with Others' Feelings: Confucius said, "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire." If Feifei takes Yuanyuan's belongings, the mother should prompt her to think: "If someone took your favorite doll, would you be happy?YuanYuan would be sad if she lost her glass slipper." This helps children practice empathy, understand others' feelings, and recognize when their actions are wrong. ◎ Return items immediately: Mom should take the child to return the item right away and have them apologize personally: "I'm sorry I took your thing home to play with. Here, I'm giving it back. Please forgive me." This leaves a lasting impression, helps them remember the lesson, and teaches them to own up to mistakes.
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All the kids have Transformers: After getting home, Dongdong disappeared into his room for ages. When Mom went in, she found him happily playing with a tiny Transformer. Upon asking, she learned Dongdong had taken it from a friend.Why this happened: Seeing what others have and wanting it too is natural for children. With many kids owning Transformers, Dongdong felt inferior for not having one while intensely coveting others' possessions. He resorted to "taking" to get what he desired. Parents' inappropriate response: Seeing her son take another's toy, Mom angrily yelled, "Do you want to grow up to be a thief and get arrested by the police?"...This simplistic link between "taking things" and "bad character" is unfair to the child; threats also fail to help him understand the principle. Dongdong's mother is right to curb his desires early on and teach him moderation. However, she needs to explain things to him. If she neither provides an explanation nor offers alternatives, but simply says "no" firmly and bluntly, it will only leave the child disappointed.Dongdong's behavior is actually a form of defiance. Proper Approach ◎ Swap Instead of Taking: Explain to Dongdong why "taking others' things without permission is wrong," and instruct him to return the item the next day. Also tell him: No one can own everything in the world, and some things aren't worth buying or aren't necessary. If he really wants a toy, he can trade one of his own toys or books with a friend for a day, two days, or even a week.◎ Buy When Necessary: Provide items common among peers, like agreeing to buy Dongdong one or two Transformers. This lets him join other children's play happily instead of being left out. This approach allows Dongdong to enjoy peer interaction while managing his desires.

Try this lollipop: After returning from the supermarket, 3-year-old Wenwen suddenly pulled a lollipop from her pocket: "Mommy, have some." Her mother thought carefully—she hadn't bought any lollipops earlier—and asked, "Tell Mommy, who gave you this?" "I took it myself at the supermarket."...Why this happens: In the supermarket, everyone puts items they need or like into their carts. Children mimic adults by reaching for things too. However, they overlook a crucial step: the process of Mom paying for the items. Therefore, it's essential to explain this step to children beforehand.Inappropriate parental response: Dad was furious: "How could you just take things from the supermarket? If you do this again, you'll get a spanking!" He raised his hand and waved it threateningly. Wenwen nodded uncertainly, then walked off to eat her lollipop. Parents should explain that taking items from the supermarket requires payment, not just that "you can't take things without permission."Dad's words easily confuse Wenwen. Despite his stern attitude, the "one-time exception" approach is highly inadvisable. Because while Wenwen ate the lollipop this time, she'll likely forget the entire incident by her next supermarket visit. Proper Approach ◎ Return to the supermarket: When this happens, immediately take the child back to the store. Have her personally hand the money to the cashier and say:I took a lollipop from here earlier without paying, so I'm here to settle it now. I'm sorry." This process helps the child remember the lesson permanently. ◎ Have the Child "Pay the Bill": When taking your child to the supermarket in the future, pay close attention to their behavior. Point out the price tags to your child, letting them know every item has a price.Mom will give the money to the cashier before we can take these items home. At checkout, remind your child: "It's time to pay." You may also allow your child to choose one or two items they like, then give them the money to pay independently, reinforcing the concept that purchases require payment.
This article is from Dazhong Health Network