An ancient saying goes, "Three years old shows the child, seven years old shows the adult." While somewhat absolute, it holds truth—early childhood education is crucial.
Age two marks a child's first rebellious phase. So how should parents educate three-year-olds? Modern research indicates that building non-cognitive psychological qualities should be a core part of family education.
As parents, our greatest wish is for our children to lead happy and fulfilling lives. This fulfillment can be summarized in six words: success, health, and contentment. How can we help children achieve success in life? Intellectual development is a common approach pursued by parents today.
Regarding success, there's a well-known formula: Success = Ability × Opportunity. Here, ability refers to an individual's subjective conditions, while opportunity denotes the objective social conditions surrounding them.Different individuals may define ability differently. Generally speaking, a person's ability consists of two parts: intellectual ability and non-intellectual ability. Emotional intelligence is an important indicator for measuring a person's non-intellectual ability. Current family education in China often emphasizes the development and cultivation of intellectual factors while neglecting the impact of non-intellectual factors on a child's future success and destiny. In other words, we lack comprehensive family education.
So, what is intelligence? Intelligence is our capacity to observe and understand society, and to utilize experience and knowledge to solve various problems. It encompasses observational skills, judgment, logical reasoning, and critical thinking, among others. Parents generally prioritize developing these abilities, with some beginning as early as prenatal education.
However, does a higher IQ necessarily guarantee success in life?
It seems not.
An athlete may possess excellent technique, but if they lack psychological resilience—suffering from stage fright, unable to handle pressure, or cope with the twists and setbacks of competition—they cannot perform at their best or achieve good results.
Emotional Intelligence Education and a Successful Life
Humankind has long prioritized intellectual development, establishing IQ tests to measure it. Modern scientific research reveals another crucial factor beyond IQ: emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence reflects one's ability to manage emotions, withstand external pressures, and maintain psychological equilibrium.Through various tests and studies, scientists have demonstrated that emotional intelligence is more crucial than IQ in determining a person's marriage, career, interpersonal relationships, and even their professional success.The test teacher told each child before they entered: "If you can resist eating the candy until I call you out, you'll receive a reward—another piece of candy. That way, you'll get two candies. But if you eat it before I come, you'll only get this one."
The experiment began, and the children entered the hall one by one. Some couldn't resist the temptation and ate the candy.Others understood that persevering would earn them two candies. They exerted self-control, distracting themselves by singing or bouncing around, avoiding eye contact with the candy until the teacher called them out and rewarded them.The results revealed that children who received only one marshmallow generally achieved less success than those who received two. In other words, children who lacked self-control and had lower emotional intelligence in childhood tended to struggle more in life later on, regardless of their IQ. This study sparked societal attention on the importance of emotional intelligence education.
Smart parents should cultivate in their children from an early age an understanding of what is appropriate and inappropriate to do; they should also learn which behaviors lead to success, earn rewards, and score points in competitions.
Many parents place excessive emphasis on whether their children enjoy privileged lives or possess exceptional intelligence, yet they often overlook the children's ability to navigate life and exercise self-control. Isn't it a pity that parents neglect the very factors that largely determine a person's marriage, career, relationships, and professional success?
Get up on your own when you fall.
A successful individual once shared: "The most impactful phrase in my life came from my mother—'Get up on your own when you fall.'" As a child, whenever he stumbled, his mother would say this. Those words became a guiding maxim, a life-affirming mantra, and an instinctive response. Throughout his journey, this mindset has sustained him through every challenge and setback.
This teaches us that young minds are especially receptive to simple logic and straightforward messages, which can shape lifelong psychological traits. Therefore, while valuing family education, there's no need to overcomplicate it. Often, a parent's simple action or a single phrase can profoundly influence a child's entire life.
An ancient saying goes, "Three years old shows the child, seven years old shows the adult." While somewhat absolute, it contains a truth: early childhood education is crucial. Our family education should adopt clear principles, emphasizing the development of non-cognitive psychological qualities and emotional intelligence education. This is especially vital for only children.