Have you ever had a tense relationship with a colleague?
If the answer is no, you're likely the kind of person everyone finds likable and agrees is a great colleague. But surely you've at least thought about wanting to be closer to someone?
Alright, now think about that colleague you have a tense relationship with or wish to be closer to, and answer the following questions:
Do you judge them based on their behavior today, or on their actions from last week, last month, or even last year?
When you talk to them, is your goal to change their perspective, or do you also adjust your own?
When you see their name in your inbox, do you form preconceived notions before even opening the email?
These are core questions of Executive Mindfulness.While research has shown us the benefits of mindfulness, we've never truly addressed this question: How do we maintain mindfulness at work? After all, we can't meditate or do yoga at our desks.
Understanding mindfulness and its practical impact is crucial for improving work relationships. It's within these evolving professional connections that we gradually grow and change.
Without resorting to jargon, mindfulness means focusing on the present moment without judgment. Generally, it manifests in two forms: "Novelty-seeking," which involves seeking new and distinctive elements within the current environment; and "Focus," which entails directing all attention entirely to the present moment.
The opposite of mindfulness is "Habituation." Habituation means thinking and acting in familiar, routine ways—like driving on autopilot. Overall, mindfulness signifies being non-habitual and non-judgmental.
As attention improves, awareness increases, naturally guiding us toward better judgments, decisions, and behaviors.Who wouldn't want better judgment, decisions, and actions?
Try it now—discover new territory in your familiar office. Pause to savor your coffee, feel your body's weight in the chair, or notice something you've overlooked before. If heading to a meeting, take a different route to the conference room. During meetings, remain silent for ten minutes(unless your boss asks you a question).
7 Principles for Improving Relationships
1. Recognize the meaning of life and the goals you strive for throughout your life
Why push so hard? Because you must be true to your conscience. To become a master of relationships, the first step is to clarify your values. If you can't even figure that out, it's hard to see the meaning of life, let alone achieve any sense of accomplishment.
2. Avoid negative moods and constant complaining
Maintain a positive emotional state at work. Even when facing setbacks, injustices, or lack of trust from leadership, refrain from complaining or venting resentment. Such behavior only backfires—it either makes you unlikable or earns you contempt.
3. Approach Superiors with Respect Before Adapting
Any superior—be it a department head, project manager, or management representative—has earned their position through demonstrable strengths. Their extensive experience and interpersonal strategies warrant our respect and learning. We should honor their distinguished past and impressive achievements.Yet no superior is flawless. Therefore, blind obedience is unnecessary in the workplace. Remember: offering constructive feedback is only one aspect of your role. The ultimate goal is to strive for improvement, refinement, and advancement. 4. Master the Art of Listening Today's workplace culture is generally open, where everyone possesses their own thoughts and personality.People enjoy expressing their views and standing by their convictions. Yet this very tendency often sparks interpersonal conflicts in the workplace. Individuals frequently focus solely on their own thoughts and feelings, rarely taking the time to listen to others' perspectives and emotions. Therefore, mastering the art of active listening will earn you greater recognition and goodwill, ultimately leading to more friendships and opportunities.
5. Maintain Friendly Flexibility
When conflicts arise with others, they often stem more from self-centeredness than the issue itself. Learning to remain flexible and accommodating in most aspects of life, rather than engaging in confrontation, is crucial. There are many paths to achieving goals; if one road is blocked, take another. Build your goals on concrete foundations and your plans on sand—this approach will help you navigate relationships more effectively.
6. Find Common Ground
People are like islands. You navigate around them seeking a harbor—a place for your boat to dock. To find that "harbor," identify one of their strengths and use it as your entry point. This creates resonance between you.
7. Cultivate a Sense of Humor
Humor relaxes people and lowers their guard. When things go awry, humor softens the blow. After a certain point, you can even laugh it off—far better than fuming or fretting over things beyond your control.