I treat my mother-in-law better than my own mother, yet she doesn't appreciate it—it's so frustrating. She always buys shoes for ten or twenty yuan at street stalls. When I bought her a pair costing several hundred yuan, she not only called me wasteful but hid them in the closet, continuing to wear her cheap shoes.She insists on eating leftovers. When I kindly suggest it's unhealthy, she rolls her eyes and retorts, "I've eaten leftovers my whole life and I'm perfectly fine." Basically, she rejects modern lifestyles outright and treats them with utter disdain—it's unbearable. They say you should treat your mother-in-law like a boss. I've been respectful and indulgent—isn't that enough? Even my boss isn't this difficult to please.
Psychologist's Response:
If your boss orders shark fin soup, would you tell him it's environmentally harmful and suggest glass noodles instead? Just because you believe your lifestyle is more progressive doesn't mean you should try to reform your mother-in-law. Respect isn't charity or indoctrination—it doesn't involve looking down on someone, only seeing them as equals or even with admiration. Respect also isn't deep love, which can manifest as possessiveness or frustration over someone's shortcomings. Respect requires calmness and restraint.
Prerequisite for Respect: Know Your Place
Your mother-in-law is absolutely not your biological mother. Your own mother is the only person in the world who won't hold a grudge even if you offend her a hundred times. But your mother-in-law? She might remember even one slight, just as you often dwell on her shortcomings.Take clothing as an example: when giving it to your mother, you might say, "Stop wearing those cheap market finds—watch out for cancer-causing dyes." But for your mother-in-law, it’s better to say: "This dress will look absolutely stunning on you. Try it on! If you don’t like it, I’ll exchange it."
The essence of respect: Let her be.
Whatever she chooses to do, never play the savior. Often, the more you try to change her, the more she'll guard those ingrained habits like protecting a wound—because they're her source of security.Besides, what gives you the right to change her? Just because you're decades younger? As Wang Shuo once said, "I've been young—have you ever been old?"
The Key to Respect: Restraint in Love
With your mother-in-law, you must exercise restraint. Without it, you risk hurting her in the name of love. Hai Qing, star of Double-Sided Tape, observed:After playing so many mother-in-law roles, I've realized their relationship is irreconcilable in some ways. Being kind to her is fine, but neither should cling too tightly. Self-restraint is crucial—maintaining some distance benefits both parties." Distance creates not just beauty, but respect.
Different Zodiac Signs Require Different Respect Approaches
Capricorn: Grant her household authority