This is too expensive, we can't afford it!
Repeating this phrase a hundred times before a child turns six completes a parental task: embedding a lifelong consciousness of poverty that becomes inescapable. This seals their fate of perpetual hardship—the infamous "too expensive effect."
The side effects are equally potent: inferiority, introversion, loneliness. Yet some positive traits may emerge—stubbornness, obstinacy, suspicion, refusal to concede defeat, daring to challenge fate, and relentless struggle against poverty.
Poverty begins as a mindset: "I can't afford it, but they can. I'm inferior to them." This leads to two possible outcomes: resignation or defiance.Examples of resignation abound—look at your neighbor to the left, look at your neighbor to the right; they're all part of the resigned masses.
There are also those who refuse and strive—take Li Na and Yu Minhong, who worked hard and later became wealthy. Yet most of these role models still operate within a mindset of poverty. For instance, they might splurge on luxury cars or replace the low-wattage bulbs in their stairwells.
Yu Minhong's initial inferiority complex at Peking University stemmed from this poverty mindset—feeling inadequate compared to others, striving to surpass them. Even after achieving success, that mindset stubbornly influenced his judgments about people, talent, and markets. Poverty consciousness remained entrenched in his heart.
He's not alone. Many others share this trait, like Feng Xiaogang and Zhang Yimou.Entrepreneurs like Jack Ma, Wang Shi, and Liu Chuanzhi also harbor deep-seated poverty consciousness that shapes their judgments of social value. (For more parenting insights, follow the Ten Points Parenting WeChat account: shidianyuer)
They miss opportunities to recognize value and fail to understand that affluent individuals place greater importance on money—and thus grasp its true worth beyond mere ostentation.Without money, people avoid buying high-priced products, thus missing opportunities to experience value.
With abundant wealth, they purchase expensive items without seriously evaluating their worth. Sometimes, they don't even understand the value of what they buy—like owning an LV bag without grasping the brand's core values.
Poverty mentality manifests in many ways, such as viewing issues simplistically, in black-and-white terms, with clear-cut good and bad.
Losing the ability to recognize value leads to losing the ability to see others objectively. People are seen as either equally poor, leading to contempt, or wealthier, sparking envy or hatred. This also erodes self-awareness, resulting in either self-destructive resignation or inflated self-importance.
This poverty mindset forms before age six. Once established, it becomes nearly impossible to shake off. The focus of children's education should not be the children themselves, but the parents. As a parent, reflect on how often you heard language reinforcing this poverty mindset before you turned six.