My good friend Xiao Yi started working at a renowned FMCG company three months ago. Given its prestigious reputation, expectations were naturally high, and she was overjoyed to be part of the team. But before long, I noticed her daily Weibo posts radiating exhaustion and hardship, filled with relentless self-motivation like she was pumping herself up every day.
We've talked many times, and she's shared countless stories expressing her discomfort and lack of alignment.
At first, I pulled out my own motivational playbook: adapt to the environment, open your mindset, immerse yourself in the new setting, and persevere, persevere, persevere. This has always been my approach—face challenges head-on, because overcoming obstacles is the hallmark of personal growth. But things seemed to get worse.
After much reflection, I realized she had no major flaws, just a string of minor issues. Most stemmed from differences in personality or mindset—simply being different, not inherently good or bad.
Often, connections aren't determined by merit but by chemistry. Like two young people falling for each other—if the spark isn't there, it's not about who's at fault, just a mismatch.
Yet most of us don't see it that way. We blame ourselves for not being strong enough. We tread carefully when making decisions, but once committed, we insist on proving them absolutely right, refusing to admit failure.
I've received many letters from readers. Half describe their current situation, asking what decision to make; the other half recount their reality after choosing a path, asking how long to persevere before seeing results—and whether to keep going at all.
In the past, I would have snapped back, "How long have you even stuck with it? Already expecting results?" But Xiao Yi's situation made me realize that persisting down a wrong path—or rather, a path that leaves you feeling utterly uncomfortable—isn't exactly a pleasant endeavor.
The first time I told Xiao Yi, "Why not quit? This company is great, but if you keep going like this, you won't have time to relax and watch movies with your boyfriend, no time to go home and have dinner with your parents, and you'll have to walk on eggshells every single day. I'm not saying work has to make you happy every moment, but if it makes you uncomfortable all the time, and if it's not because you're not trying hard enough but because of a mismatch in personalities and ways of thinking, then there will never be happiness.
For days afterward, this matter kept circling in my mind, even confusing me. How could I tell if it was a lack of effort or a clash of mindsets? Perhaps it was just a feeling. Sometimes, after working hard to seize a precious opportunity, we feel we've earned it and cling to it fiercely, refusing to let go.
My former boss once said: "People's sixth sense is remarkably accurate. When you feel uneasy or sense something's off, there's definitely something wrong."
A job can't constantly fill us with pride, joy, and accomplishment. But if no matter how hard you try, you remain deeply uncomfortable—perhaps that's the sign you should let yourself go.
Xiao Yi quit her job. She'd worried about when she'd find her next position—how she'd sustain life in Beijing if the search dragged on. But just a week after resigning, her boyfriend told her: "I love the carefree, joyful you right now. I'd rather you be an ordinary girl than a career woman who lies awake every night, depressed and anxious about the future."
That day, her boyfriend proposed. Now, Xiao Yi hasn't started her new job yet; instead, she's wholeheartedly preparing for the wedding. Life is beginning to unfold a new chapter for her.
Truthfully, I'm grateful to Xiao Yi. She changed my perspective, teaching me to let myself off the hook.
So often, we push ourselves relentlessly—demanding perfection, beating ourselves up over every minor mistake;forcing ourselves to be the kind of extroverted, cheerful person everyone adores, while feeling helpless about our introversion and lack of eloquence; forcing ourselves to become the kind of successful person who wears sharp suits, flies first class, and stays in five-star hotels, while feeling anxious and depressed about our current cramped, messy shared apartment.
We constantly push ourselves to become someone we don't even recognize, ending up utterly lost about what we truly want because our hearts have grown hardened.
After Xiao Yi's incident, I faced numerous choices in both life and work—simple or difficult, smooth or troublesome. In the past, facing easy tasks would fill me with confidence, while challenges would make me anxious and resentful, wondering why it always happened to me.
But this time, facing any option before me, I've grown calm. Smooth paths demand I strive for excellence; troublesome ones offer perfect opportunities to strengthen myself.
Every event in life serves to strengthen and mature us. No choice is inherently good or bad; each path offers distinct vistas. What matters is the mindset with which we embrace life's opportunities and love.
Let life soften a little—don't let worldly standards alone guide your path.
Thank you, Xiao Yi, for teaching me tenderness and how to let myself off the hook.