Ms. Chen called to say that in their office, there's a colleague named Xiao Liu who used to be very close to her. But lately, Xiao Liu has become someone the female coworkers avoid. The reason is that Xiao Liu frequently "shows off" her personal happiness, making her increasingly isolated in the office.
"Are you talking about your husband? It sounds more like a story about a filial son to me."——Her behavior drew sarcastic remarks. Ms. Chen explained that in an office with mostly women, sharing personal stories fosters closeness. But when someone constantly talks about their "little life," practically wanting the whole world to know how wonderful they have it, it leaves others feeling uncomfortable.Every day she talked about how much her husband loved her, buying her designer clothes, using high-end materials for home renovations, purchasing expensive furniture—basically "showing off her happiness."At first, it was novel, but later it just felt awkward. Now she's developed another habit: on every anniversary—including her birthday, dating anniversary, and wedding anniversary—her husband not only personally delivers flowers to the office but also gives jewelry as gifts. These presents become her new talking points. Valentine's Day and the Chinese Valentine's Day have become prime opportunities for her to flaunt her happiness.
Ms. Chen noticed that Xiaoliu had turned this "showing off happiness" into a daily ritual, sharing stories with colleagues every day and sometimes even posting updates in QQ groups, bombarding everyone's ears and eyes. Ms. Chen could clearly sense growing discontent among some female colleagues in the office.Some accused her of showing off and bragging, occasionally adding sarcastic remarks, which strained Xiaoliu's workplace relationships. During one conversation with colleagues, Xiaoliu chattered on again: "My husband even posted about it in our group chat..."Some accused her of showing off and bragging, occasionally throwing in sarcastic remarks, which strained Xiaoliu's relationships in the office.
During another conversation with colleagues, Xiao Liu chattered on: "My husband revolves entirely around me. Though he earns a high income, he rarely spends money. But for me, he swipes his card for thousands at a time without batting an eye..." She then looked around with a smug expression, as if to say, "See how captivating I am? I've tamed my husband completely."Unexpectedly, an older woman in the office bluntly remarked, "Are you talking about your husband? It sounds more like a story about a dutiful son to me." This comment left Xiao Liu flushed with embarrassment, and the conversation ended awkwardly.
"The brighter you shine like a pomegranate in the sun, the more sour the plums in the shade become." ——Friends wanted to warn her, but feared being seen as jealous. Ms. Chen also overheard office gossip: "She's tamed her husband into doing all the chores while she wears jewels, leaving him penniless. How pathetic! Isn't this the definition of a family scandal? They say 'family scandals shouldn't be aired publicly'—what's the point of talking about this?"Some even whispered predictions: "Don't get too carried away now—watch out for the marital 'reckoning' later!" Seeing the office's sarcastic stares, Xiao Liu felt wronged. She told Ms. Chen, "I only shared these thoughts because I considered you all friends."
Watching Xiao Liu grow increasingly isolated in the office, Ms. Chen grew anxious. As a close confidante, she wanted to gently remind her that even if she felt happy, she shouldn't flaunt it too much to avoid annoying others. Yet she also feared giving the impression of "envy and resentment." Ms. Chen was genuinely torn. Why was Xiao Liu so fixated on "showing off her happiness"?Should she flaunt her happiness or quietly cherish it privately? To address this, the host consulted Director Chen Zhenping of Fuzhou Sunshine Psychological Service Center.
Psychological Analysis
What's Being "Shared" Isn't "Happiness" but Inner Vulnerability
Director Chen Zhenping explained that from Xiao Liu's psychological perspective, what she's "sharing" isn't "happiness" but inner vulnerability.This behavior stems from a deep-seated desire for attention and validation. Four potential psychological factors may contribute to this pattern:
First, an inferiority complex: Her upbringing may have instilled feelings of inadequacy. Constantly proclaiming "My husband loves me so much" seeks to derive self-worth from perceived romantic superiority.
Second, excessive narcissism: Vanity drives her to "show off happiness," deriving intense pleasure from others' envious or jealous glances during the process.
Third, insecurity: Given the instability in romantic relationships, "showing off happiness" often stems from a desire for stability.She naively believes that by publicly displaying deep affection, her relationship gains greater security.
Finally, it stems from emptiness in life: perhaps she genuinely lacks other topics or aspects to showcase, but with limited resources for flaunting, "showing off happiness" becomes her sole source of enjoyment.
As a close friend, Ms. Chen could gently remind Xiao Yang: True happiness shines through without needing to be flaunted; even when sharing, consider others' feelings—genuine, measured moments suffice. A woman who has her husband completely under her thumb isn't endearing. "Cherishing happiness" and "nurturing happiness" matter far more than "showing off happiness"!