What is causing widespread anxiety among today's children?
Kindergartens teaching third-grade vocabulary
Many kindergartens are overloading children with character recognition drills, excessive worksheets, and heavy homework assignments—even reported by the China Education Daily. Some institutions are introducing advanced vocabulary like the "500 Preschool Characters" textbook. Let me share a few examples: how could preschoolers possibly recognize these?The character for "lotus root" (藕), the character for "bench" (凳), the character for "soy sauce" (酱), the character for "dance" (舞)—these characters with so many strokes are meant for third-grade students. How can you expect preschoolers to recognize them? This kind of learning creates anxiety because they don't recognize the characters, can't remember them, and can't write them. If they can't write them, they're not good children. If this isn't creating anxiety, what is it?
How should parents defend their children's childhood?
First, defend their right to speak freely. One child answered a question about symmetry by saying, "Teacher, a person's two buttocks are symmetrical. A boy's two little balls are symmetrical, and my mom's..." The teacher snapped, "Sit down!" and grew impatient, "I don't know what you're trying to say. Stop talking nonsense."As soon as class ended, the teacher called his mother: "Your son has overly complex thoughts. You need to properly educate him." Adults fear children's words.One child wrote a poem: "I shine my flashlight to create a sun. Look, it glows like a sun." Sometimes children's language and expressions—whether written or spoken—hold immense creativity. This creativity is precious because it reflects a child's unique perspective and way of thinking. We must protect and encourage it deeply. Therefore, we should offer extra encouragement for children's creative works.
Family Chapter
The core of education is teaching children to be good people
Those with compassion, responsibility, and creativity find happiness
What is the core of education?
While imparting knowledge is important in children's education, the most crucial aspect is cultivating a healthy personality. Why? Consider this: what kind of people find happiness in life? Are those with high academic credentials and excellent grades truly happy?Not necessarily. Rather, it's those who are empathetic, responsible, trustworthy, and creative who lead happier lives. The latter qualities constitute a healthy personality. So what defines a healthy personality? We can outline the most straightforward criteria: First, compassion is the most vital trait of a healthy personality. Second, a love for learning—being proactive and enthusiastic about education.Third, they possess a strong sense of responsibility. Fourth, they demonstrate self-discipline or self-management skills. Fifth, they respect others. These five traits, through extensive research and discussion with psychologists, represent the most crucial personality standards for children and adolescents.
How can we cultivate compassion in children?
Sharing an orange with your child is an act of love—giving them the whole thing while eating none yourself. Yet this approach risks fostering selfishness and possessiveness, ingraining the mindset that "good things are mine, how dare you take them?"I recall a mother who knew her daughter loved grapes. After buying them, she said, "These are for you." The child remembered this as "bought for me." When the mother ate one herself, the daughter demanded, "Mom, that's mine! Spit it out!" Children can become this possessive. This is why the Chinese saying "spoiling a child is like killing them" holds true.True love for children requires long-term nurturing. Only parents with such foresight are truly wise. Otherwise, what seems like love on the surface is actually harming the child.
How to cultivate self-control?
In many Chinese families today, children are never taught to wait. Now that we have money and resources, we give them one thing and they want two—why wait? No need to wait. Studies show many teens today are part of the "I want it now" generation. You'll find that an overly indulged child cannot find true joy; they're likely to become spoiled and selfish. Such children inevitably suffer. That's why we must cultivate this habit in them.International research shows that children who can wait fifteen minutes or half an hour to eat in such experiments grow up to be more independent and responsible than those who cannot wait. They achieve more. Thus, cultivating a healthy personality follows very specific principles and methods. Children must learn to wait and endure. Such children learn self-control and self-management. These are the healthy, promising children.
Success Chapter
Every Child Can Succeed
A Child's Development Is Success
Every child can succeed, but how do we define success?
For children, success is development—progress built upon their existing capabilities. Success is never about being better than others. For instance, if a child previously couldn't dress themselves but now can, the teacher and parents should praise them: "Great job! You can put on your pants now—that's a big step toward growing up!" That is success.Tying shoelaces, eating independently, mastering chopsticks—these are all successes, each profoundly important for a child. Using the toilet without help, bathing independently. Success is development. Any improvement or growth from one's starting point is success.
Every child has their own areas of strength—could we call these successes in different fields?
Success is a matter of choice. What does that mean? You excel in this area, I excel in that. You're great at math, I'm strong in language arts. You're athletic, I'm skilled at gaming. I'm good at paper cutting, I'm polite, I sing well, I'm crafty—all these are successes.Success is a choice. As long as you leverage your strengths and unlock your potential, you succeed. Success is also harmony—feeling joyful, maintaining good relationships with others, and thriving in group activities. That's success.
How can parents uncover their child's potential for success?
Teachers included—you must discover each child's strengths first, not their weaknesses. Once strengths are recognized, the more strengths a child finds in themselves, the more confident and empowered they become. Then consider exams: when using uniform standards, some children will inevitably rank lower. But you'll notice this pattern: the more success experiences a person has, the less they fear ranking lower. They understand, "I excel here, but I'm average there."Or they may think, "I'm not as good as others, but that's okay." The most dangerous feeling for a child is believing they are completely inadequate, that they fall short in every way and possess no redeeming qualities. Such children are at risk—this represents a failure of education.
You can see that I can say any child is a genius. The key is to discover their potential and guide them down a path suited to them. Then they become a genius.