Whether people are willing to become friends or when they might become friends—according to Dr. Zonning's views in his book Communication—the first four minutes of contact between strangers are crucial. He advises those seeking to establish new friendships: "When you meet a stranger in a social setting, focus your attention on them for four minutes.Many lives will change because of this." Social Essentials You may notice that most people don't pay focused attention to someone they've just met. They keep looking around, as if searching for someone more interesting. If someone treated you this way, you certainly wouldn't like them. When introduced to new friends, the author says, we should strive to appear friendly and confident."Generally speaking," he says, "people like those who like them." Moreover, we must avoid appearing arrogant; showing genuine interest or empathy is crucial. Remember others have their own needs, fears, and hopes. Hearing this advice, you might think, "I'm not naturally friendly or confident—isn't this dishonest?" Experts believe that with practice, you can transform your social approach.If we truly wish to change our character, we will eventually adapt—much like buying a new car. At first it may feel unfamiliar, but it's always better than the old one. Does this mean that those who aren't naturally friendly or self-possessed are being dishonest when they act friendly or confident?Dr. Zonning says: Perhaps. "Complete honesty" often isn't appropriate in social situations, especially during those first few minutes of interaction. While various expressions may arise, appropriate acting is the best approach when engaging with strangers. This isn't the time to complain about health issues or point out others' flaws, nor is it the moment to lay bare all your views and impressions.The same principle applies to relationships among family members or friends. For husbands and wives, parents and children, problems often arise during the first four minutes of reunion after a long separation. Experts advise that these initial minutes require caution; if unpleasant topics are discussed, they must be addressed later.