In companies and organizations, your interactions with colleagues fall into two categories: either you're on the same level, or your positions are unequal, creating a superior-subordinate dynamic. When on equal footing, managing peer relationships is generally straightforward. However, once promoted, you face the challenge of adapting to your new role.At this juncture, you must handle relationships with former colleagues with great care. Some find themselves isolated in their new positions, gradually losing real authority; others become constrained by assertive subordinates, turning into figureheads; still others experience a cooling of interpersonal warmth during the promotion process... These situations can significantly diminish the joy of advancement. Next, we'll share strategies to ensure your relationships remain as strong as ever after a promotion.
Case 1
Frank transitioned from being an expert at a foreign enterprise to becoming a manager at a state-owned enterprise, finally embarking on his career as a professional manager. As the new leader, he devoted all his energy to his team, neglecting upward and lateral management. This leadership style, focused solely on subordinates while ignoring other stakeholders, is what I call "Type 1 Leadership."He poured 100% of his energy into managing his team and business operations. Such a leader is not a good leader. At best, this approach might result in high team morale and exceptional team capabilities. Six months later, Frank was stunned by his 360-degree feedback results: his subordinates adored him, his superiors were disappointed, his colleagues had reservations, and his clients didn't even know who he was.In short, Frank's performance evaluation was failing. Frank's reaction? One word: unfair. From the perspective of the "three forces" of leadership effectiveness—motivation, capability, and synergy—he possessed the first two but lacked the third. Synergy means collaborative effort and shared objectives. Without dedicating effort to upward and lateral management, a leader cannot ensure their work direction aligns with their superiors' expectations nor guarantee effective cross-team and cross-departmental collaboration.
Your superior's leadership may not be up to par. When facing a leader who falls short, upward management becomes crucial. That's why I advocate for "cross-shaped" leaders. They must manage their team downward, handle peer relationships horizontally, and also manage upward—actively building trust and support with their superiors.
Transitioning from a specialist role to management involves five key milestones:
First, positioning: embracing the new role.
Second, decision-making: making choices under uncertainty.
Third, relationships: managing new stakeholders.
Fourth, delegation: shifting from doing tasks yourself to empowering others.
Fifth, development: transitioning from self-improvement to nurturing others.
Peter Drucker summarized three keys to upward management:
First, avoid surprising your boss—proactively communicate so they always feel in control.
Second, focus on your boss's strengths.
Third, offer genuine praise.

Case Study 2
Xie Lin, Creative Director at an Advertising Agency
Early in her promotion, Xie Lin struggled with how colleagues addressed her. The familiar nickname "Linzi" was replaced by "Director Xie," making her feel uncomfortable. She viewed the promotion as recognition and greater decision-making authority from the company, not a reason to sever ties with the previous office atmosphere.Later, during brainstorming sessions for ad concepts, subordinates became less vocal in her presence—a stark contrast to the lively exchanges they once shared.
She felt isolated, as if stranded on a deserted island, with everyone drifting further away.
She shared this feeling with a friend, who responded: "Just as you haven't fully adjusted to your new role, your colleagues haven't adjusted to this change either. When someone who used to be a casual, playful colleague suddenly holds the power over their careers, everyone is unsure how to navigate this shift. We're all figuring it out."
Xie Lin found this insightful. Back at the office, she privately invited several familiar colleagues for afternoon tea. She tactfully explained that despite her promotion, she still hoped to work together toward mutual success and encouraged everyone to voice any concerns directly. After this open conversation, the awkwardness between them seemed to ease.Xie Lin knew this was just the beginning, but she felt more confident about moving forward.
Tips for Navigating Difficult Relationships with Subordinates:
First, Share the Credit, Own the Blame
When achievements are made at work, understand the principle of sharing the benefits. Leaders often attribute success to their "effective leadership," but in reality, it's the collective effort of the team.Therefore, never forget the colleagues who worked alongside you. When problems arise, leaders should take responsibility proactively. This demonstrates reliability and accountability, making colleagues more willing to work under your guidance. Second, avoid putting on airs. Before promotion, you likely socialized and dined with colleagues. After promotion, don't act superior.Instead, consistently adopt a consultative tone when interacting with everyone. When colleagues make mistakes or fall short, criticize them with discretion, choosing private conversations whenever possible. This approach not only reassures them that you remain one of them but also earns their respect. Tasks you assign will then progress smoothly.
Third, avoid backroom deals
When disagreements arise and consensus is unattainable, steer clear of underhanded tactics. Instead, guide discussions toward critical points and gently steer colleagues toward implementing your decisions. Present plans openly as collective efforts, then proceed without emotional baggage. This approach frees up significant energy for other priorities.