The thing we do most every day is make choices. Feasible or not, good or bad, which one is better, who do you support... Whether it's taking a stance between two options or selecting the best from a set of closed choices, we all encounter such questions constantly, right? Yet often, those seemingly simple decisions aren't easy at all.
At Tongfu Inn, similar scenes play out daily: The proprietress Tong Xiangyu always consults her staff, striving for democracy—from major decisions like whether Xiao Bei should train in martial arts or whether Xiao Guo or Wushuang should stay, to minor matters like who gets the sole crab on the plate.When opinions diverge too widely and arguments become deadlocked, she has a solution—take a vote.
But when each person must cast their vote and declare their stance, whether it's Lao Bai, Xiao Guo, the Scholar, or Big Mouth, the "I" must step out from the collective "we." Under the spotlight, they face the audience's scrutiny and judgment alone, bearing the full weight of their choice and its consequences.
In the workplace, this scenario is likely familiar to everyone—a leader seeks input: "Which do you favor, Plan A or Plan B? Or perhaps Plan C or Plan D?"These options could be sales plans, potential partners, top employee candidates, lunch spots, or departmental performances for the annual gala. Each has its strengths and weaknesses. How do you choose?
Some people base their opinions solely on their immediate instincts and feelings. They're impulsive—choosing whatever feels best at the moment, disregarding everything else.Then there are those whose opinions are constantly swayed by others—no matter how strongly they feel about something, they consider whether others might share that feeling, whether their choice might cause discomfort or trouble for others, or even how others might perceive their decision.
In other words, these individuals are easily influenced by external factors.
That sounds a bit abstract, so let's examine some real-life examples from both on and off the stage.
Bai Zhantang and Tong Xiangyu, Guo Furong and Lü Xiucai—these two pairs form inseparable alliances of mutual interest within the office. Perhaps because of their close relationships, or even if it's just out of courtesy, they all show varying degrees of restraint when expressing their opinions.For instance, when debating whether Xiao Bei should learn martial arts, a single glance from Boss Tong—who had cast the dissenting vote—was enough for Old Bai to firmly raise his right hand in support. Similarly, when Guo Fuling advocated for martial arts training, a mere cough from Scholar Lü was all it took for him to switch sides from the opposition camp: "You live and learn. Picking up a skill can't hurt."
Social pressure is indeed a force. The expectant gaze from a close friend seemed to say: You should be on my side.
Such situations are common in the workplace. A friend was tasked with forming a temporary team to tackle a critical project—within that larger organization, this role carried not only prestige but also direct implications for year-end bonuses. After careful consideration, she had a list in mind, comprising only the team's top performers.During the meeting, as she read out the names, she secretly observed her friend Z's reaction. Z kept staring intently at her, eyes brimming with expectation and a hint of reproach, as if saying, "Why didn't you pick me?"
At the last moment, she decided to add Z's name to the end of the list. Unexpected, yet understandable.
Another classic example is Li Bigmouth, whose main concern is aligning with his boss.In several votes, regardless of the issue, he steadfastly sided with the boss without hesitation. There's a concept called "establishing alignment." As a subordinate, you should clearly understand what matters most to your boss, which tasks they prioritize, and ensure their urgent requests top your schedule. Even if you disagree, you must drop any decisions they reject.
Under this "alignment" rule, many hesitate to voice their opinions. They adopt ambiguous stances, hoping to gauge their leader's preferences before deciding. This approach avoids contradicting the "main theme" while also leaving a favorable impression on the boss.
Some people master this art perfectly. Take a simple example: when colleagues suggest a Sichuan restaurant for a team dinner, the moment the boss asks, "It's pretty spicy, right?" someone "savvy enough to read the room" jumps in to loudly object: "My stomach's been bothering me lately. Let's go for something lighter."
You can't help but admire their shrewdness—never voicing an opinion first, but waiting for the prevailing sentiment to emerge before acting opportunistically. Still, having to read the room even over something as trivial as a meal seems a bit too neurotic.
In hierarchical relationships, individual judgment takes another step back—the leader's opinion is always right, what the leader deems good is truly good, and the leader's values dictate everyone's preferences within the team. In such an atmosphere, mastering this skill might indeed propel you swiftly up the career ladder.But what if something unexpected happens?
Relying on a single person for both personal and team advancement is inherently risky—blindly agreeing might push your boss further down the wrong path. While you might enjoy short-term perks, if things ultimately go south, you'll be the one left holding the bag.
"Rule number one in the workplace: The boss is always right. Rule number two: If you discover the boss is wrong, refer to rule number one." This phrase underscores the boss's absolute authority over employees, but it doesn't mean you must execute every order they give you. Therefore, "consistency" is not about being a yes-man; it's about freely expressing yourself based on communication, helping your boss see the opportunities and risks behind a decision, and trying to refine it.Of course, communication requires skill—even the best advice shouldn't embarrass your boss publicly. Success depends on human effort; mastering the right balance is key.
Whether hijacked by family or friendship, or caving to hierarchical pressure, some people's opinions and attitudes are easily swayed by external factors. They care too much about others' perceptions and obsess over maintaining "harmony" with their environment, overlooking their own authentic feelings.