Instead of "But," Say "And"
Imagine you strongly agree with a colleague's idea. You might say, "That's a great idea, but you must..." Even if you're usually articulate and persuasive, phrasing it this way significantly diminishes your endorsement.Instead, express your appreciation and suggestions with a specific hope, like: "I think this suggestion is excellent, and if we tweak it slightly here, it might be even better..."
Avoid saying "To be honest"
During company meetings, various suggestions are discussed. If you tell a colleague, "To be honest, I think..." it might seem like you're overly emphasizing your sincerity.Of course you're sincere, but why emphasize it? Instead, say: "I think we should..."
Don't say "First," say "Already"
You need to report project progress to your boss.You tell your boss: "I need to first familiarize myself with this task." Think about it—this phrasing might make your boss (and yourself) feel like you still have a lot to do, rather than acknowledging you've already accomplished something. This approach conveys pessimism, not optimism. Instead, try saying: "Yes, I'm already quite familiar with this task."
Don't say "just"
At a brainstorming session, you propose an idea and say: "This is just a suggestion." Note: This is absolutely unacceptable! It devalues your idea, your contribution, and your own worth. What should be a collaborative, team-spirited proposal instead makes colleagues perceive you as lacking confidence.Instead, say: "This is my suggestion."
Don't say "wrong," say "incorrect"
A colleague accidentally got a work plan wet and is apologizing to the client. You know he made a mistake that upset the client, so you tell him: "This is your fault, and you must take responsibility." This approach will only make him resentful.Your goal is to resolve the conflict and avoid escalation. Express your disagreement tactfully and state your reasoning objectively. For example: "There were indeed issues with your approach, and it would be best if you took responsibility for this."
Avoid saying "Originally..."
You and your conversation partner hold differing views on a matter. You casually remark: "Originally, I had a different perspective."" This seemingly minor word not only fails to emphasize your stance but actually leaves you without one. Similarly, phrases like "indeed" or "strictly speaking" should be replaced with a straightforward: "I have a different perspective on this."
Don't say "around X o'clock"; say "exactly X o'clock"
When calling an important business partner and saying, "I'll call you back around this weekend." This gives the impression you're avoiding a firm commitment—or worse, that you're unreliable. Instead, say: "I'll call you back tomorrow at 11:00 sharp."
Don't say "must..."—say "please..."
You're about to submit a project you're responsible for. Everyone is already under significant pressure, and if you tell them, "You absolutely must reconsider..." this tone is unlikely to boost efficiency. Instead, it may add pressure and cause resistance. But what if you flip it? Who would refuse a friendly and polite request? So it's best to say, "Please consider..."