I once heard it said that a parent's love for a child is a gradual separation.While we cannot accompany our children forever, the education we provide can shape their entire lives. So how can we teach them effectively during our limited time together to offer the best possible influence?
Raising Children This Way Makes Excellence Inevitable (Public Health Network)
1. Empower Children to Do Things Independently
Typically, children over one year old begin showing a desire to do things themselves.At this stage, they may push away your helping hand, insisting on feeding themselves, dressing independently, and so on. However, due to their lack of experience and poor motor coordination, tasks that seem simple to adults can take children much longer to complete—and often result in messes.
But trust that this is an essential process for children to practice self-care. When they move slowly, give them patient time;and when they make a mess, we clean up together. This way, children discover they can accomplish many things, feeling satisfied and growing increasingly confident.
2. Prioritize Children's Emotional Needs
Our parenting educators at Waiwai Rabbit often emphasize to parents: always prioritize your child's emotional needs. Never adopt a "they'll outgrow it" attitude that overlooks their mistakes.This is because children are naturally unable to control their emotions and lack the skills to express them appropriately, making parental guidance essential.
For instance, when a child becomes frustrated and upset while struggling to build with blocks, offer a gentle hug and say, "You're still little and learning—it's okay if it doesn't work out. Let's figure out together how to build it right."When a child cries sadly after having a toy taken away, avoid scolding them with "Go get your toy back, why are you crying?" Instead, offer understanding and comfort for their feelings. Gradually, children develop the ability to regulate their emotions, learning to coexist peacefully with their feelings. This prevents destructive or harmful actions during emotional outbursts.
3. Empowering Children with Choice
We often encounter people with "decision paralysis"—those who dread making choices, spending excessive time weighing options only to settle on random decisions. Such individuals remain perpetually uncertain about their desires and struggle to accept the consequences of their actions.Beyond their inherently indecisive personalities, this stems largely from a lack of practice in making autonomous choices during childhood.
Therefore, as children grow, parents should encourage age-appropriate decision-making. For younger children, let them choose which bedtime story to hear, what clothes to wear tomorrow, or what to have for breakfast. As they get older, involve them in selecting playmates or activities.Additionally, children must face the consequences of their choices and take responsibility for their decisions.
4. Don't fear your child's tears
Many parents find it unbearable when their child cries. Seeing tears often makes them irritable, leading them to either indulge the child by fulfilling their demands or lose patience, resorting to harsh scolding or ignoring the tantrum entirely.Neither approach is ideal. Children may either develop a habit of using tears to get their way or learn to suppress their emotions, which can lead to explosive outbursts later.
Waiwai Rabbit reminds all parents: Don't fear your child's tears. When a child cries, there is always a reason. Seek to understand your child, identify the cause of their distress, and then guide them through it. Help them navigate their emotional low points, letting them know that crying is perfectly normal. Teach them appropriate ways to release these feelings, empowering them to embrace themselves with greater courage.
5. Knowing When to Say No to Your Child
Learning to refuse your child is a crucial skill, one that tests whether parents have established clear boundaries in their parenting. For instance, when it's almost dinnertime, your child might insist on having snacks. If denied, they might scream and cry at the top of their lungs. Or, your child might have said the night before that they wanted boiled eggs for breakfast, only to demand fried eggs the next morning.
There are many similar scenarios. In these situations, parents must stand firm on their principles. Don't give in just because your child cries. Let them know that some requests simply won't be met: "I know you really want that, but if you eat the snack now, you won't have room for the delicious meal I made for you. We can have a snack this afternoon instead."If the child still doesn't listen, parents can firmly reiterate the point, allowing the child to cry sadly for a moment since their request was denied. Moreover, maintaining necessary boundaries and principles will help children recognize parental authority and be more receptive to guidance.
6. Children Are Not Your Entire Life
As unique individuals growing up, children will eventually leave their parents' side to face the outside world on their own once they develop their abilities. If parents, especially stay-at-home moms, devote too much energy to their children, the children won't learn independence and will become overly reliant on others. Excessive attention and restrictions can also make children rebellious.
The right approach is to return to your original path once your child starts kindergarten. Pursue what you truly desire—whether it's returning to the workforce or starting your own business. Most importantly, find fulfilling activities you love. Your attitude toward life will influence your child, showing them that work brings achievement and joy. They will aspire to become dream-chasing individuals like their parents.
Every parent is a mirror for their child—how you educate them shapes who they become. Therefore, in raising children, we must consistently apply these educational methods, using our actions to build a bright future for our kids!