Before birth, in the womb, the baby feels the embrace of the mother's body. After birth, the parents' embrace allows the child to experience the same sense of closeness, helping to cultivate a sense of security.
Recalling his childhood, Mr. Li Ka-shing, the wealthiest Chinese businessman, once said with deep emotion: "What I find hardest to forget is my father's embrace.To this day, I vividly recall how my steady and refined father, when sharing intimate moments with me, would often embrace me tightly and lift me high..." Before birth, in the mother's womb, the baby feels the embrace of the maternal body. After birth, the embrace of parents allows the child to experience the same sense of closeness, helping to cultivate a sense of security.
Psychology has a term for this—skin hunger. It refers to a latent craving for love, care, and comfort that often develops in adults who received very little physical affection from their parents during childhood. When this craving becomes excessively intense, it can lead to unhealthy emotional dependency.Conversely, children who receive ample skin-to-skin contact from infancy tend to fare better in adulthood—they experience greater emotional fulfillment, better emotional regulation, stronger self-confidence, and a greater capacity to care for others. Moreover, hugging is a natural stress reliever. Research from Emory University in the U.S. shows that children who receive frequent hugs are better equipped to handle stress as adults. An Italian study indicates that children who are regularly embraced by their parents are less prone to depression and possess greater confidence in tackling challenges.American psychologist Dr. Harold Fossey discovered that hugs enhance children's psychological resilience, making them stronger. Children especially need parental hugs during these moments:
1. Immediately after birth. International research indicates mothers should hold their babies within the first hour of birth for intimate skin-to-skin contact. This reduces infants' stress responses, decreases crying, increases sleep, and supports healthy growth and development.Another study indicates that children receiving touch therapy between birth and two months of age scored 7.4 points higher on the Mental Development Index (MDI) than those who did not receive such therapy.
2. When crying. Crying is a human instinct, often masking complex emotions such as fear, injury, hunger, or frustration.Children's limited expressive abilities make it difficult for parents to promptly and accurately discern the true cause of their crying. When an infant cries, caregivers should first check for basic physiological needs like hunger or a soiled diaper. For older children, parents should ask clearly about their needs. If the child feels wronged, crouch down, embrace them, and provide a sense of security.
3. Upon waking. Just as adults experience "morning grogginess," children may feel disoriented after sleep, experiencing a sense of loss as their familiar surroundings seem unfamiliar. At this time, parents can hold their baby and help them explore their environment, easing them out of their post-sleep daze.
4. During setbacks.When infants are startled by loud noises, stumble while walking, or when toddlers face setbacks in learning or social interactions, a parent's embrace serves as the best emotional refuge. It comforts their tender hearts and helps them quickly forget the unpleasantness. Without a timely hug from a parent, children are left to cope alone with overwhelming pressure. Over time, this may foster negative traits like indifference or selfishness.
5. When facing unfamiliar environments. Around 6 months old, babies begin to experience stranger anxiety, often resisting unfamiliar people or settings. For children about to start kindergarten, encountering new environments, peers, and routines can feel like facing a "ordeal." During these moments, parents should hold their child until they become familiar with the surroundings, then gently encourage them to leave the adult's embrace.
6. During separations. Modern life's mobility inevitably brings temporary or prolonged separations between parents and children—whether due to business trips, holiday work commitments, or other circumstances. From a psychological perspective, separation represents a significant emotional challenge for children. If mishandled, it can trigger separation anxiety and foster trust issues later in life. When parting, parents should always offer a hug.