Boys and girls entering adolescence often share this experience: feeling grown-up, they yearn to mature overnight.Parents' concern no longer warms the heart like before; instead, their nagging feels grating. Teachers seem to have lost their former authority in our eyes, unable to understand anything we do. Even close friends aren't as intimate or open as before. We carry a heart full of worries, unsure with whom to share them.
No wonder teens entering this second psychological weaning phase often lament: "No one understands me!" "I feel so alone!"
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Why do adolescents feel such profound loneliness during puberty? Because adolescence is the transitional phase between childhood and adulthood.During this time, a flood of information about ourselves and society comes pouring in, requiring constant reflection to ultimately define our life goals. At the outset of this journey, we often don't know what we want to do, what we're capable of, or who we truly are.
Society suddenly assigns us multiple roles: we must be children and students; among peers, we seek acceptance and affection;and we hope to earn the respect and trust of adults. Mastering the appropriate "roles" in different environments is no easy task for us. Yet we also strive to appear independent and mature. Consequently, we find ourselves both intensely needing to discuss and exchange ideas with others, yet reluctant to open our hearts. As the German psychologist Spranger observed:No one gazes more longingly out the window from their solitary room than young people; no one yearns more deeply for contact with and understanding of the outside world than youth immersed in profound solitude."
This sense of loneliness is precisely an expression of adolescents' developing self-awareness. As we grow older, gain richer social experiences, and deepen our self-exploration, we gradually cultivate a sense of familiarity with ourselves, confidence in our abilities, and a sense of assurance. At this stage, we become capable of independent thinking while also finding joy in interacting with others.