Father—what a magnificent title. Regardless of what our fathers do, whether they have money or a car, or whether they can provide us with greater happiness, they remain our fathers. They are the ones who guide us through our toughest times, the ones who work hard each month yet hesitate to buy themselves a new shirt, the ones who care for us with unwavering devotion. When it comes to fathers, I truly feel a thousand emotions. So, how can one become a qualified father?Let me tell you—follow along!
How to be a qualified father?
Communicate with your child wholeheartedly:
On your child's journey of growth, we as fathers must become their closest confidants. The ideal relationship is one where you can discuss anything openly. Regularly engage in heart-to-heart family activities, whether about daily life or emotional matters. This requires genuine, heartfelt communication. First, understand your child's inner world at each developmental stage.
Never resort to domestic violence against your child:
No matter what mistakes your child makes, never resort to physical violence. Hitting children is never wise. Today's children possess strong self-esteem. Using force will not teach them a lesson but may instead leave lasting emotional scars. If your child develops an unhealthy mindset, you as a parent will face significant challenges.
Attend Parent-Teacher Meetings on Time:
Whether it's parent-teacher conferences or school sports days, your child needs you there. No matter how busy you are or how important your work seems, make time to accompany them. This not only elevates your status in their eyes but also boosts their confidence. Imagine the magic when you cheer your child on at a parent-child sports day,watching your child win the final race with you by their side creates a magical moment. This experience also offers valuable insights into your child—their school and home behaviors, personality, and habits. Attend parent-teacher conferences punctually and sincerely.
Warmly welcome your child's friends to your home:
As your child grows, they'll form friendships throughout elementary, middle, and high school. Occasionally, they may invite classmates over.At such times, you should welcome them warmly. Avoid using a stern tone when communicating with them; instead, present yourself as perfectly charming and cool. This not only enhances your appeal in their classmates' eyes but also boosts your personal charisma. Be sure to treat your child's guests with genuine hospitality and refrain from over-involvement in their conversations—your old-fashioned ideas simply won't keep up with your child's world anymore.
Don't impose your own thinking on your child's development:
Often, we tend to make decisions for our children, but children in this new era should learn to make their own choices. You can offer guidance, but never use your own ideas to control their inner world. A child's state of mind changes constantly at different stages, so you mustn't let your own thinking dictate their growth. Let them make their own decisions. You will never regret it.
Responsibilities a Father Must Bear
Responsibility 1: Prioritize loving Mom over loving the child
1. What children cherish most is seeing their father deeply love their mother, followed by knowing their father also loves them.
2. If the marital relationship is strained, children lose their sense of security and trust in their father.
3. If parents frequently argue, children may blame themselves, thinking "I'm not good enough," and lose self-confidence.
4. Children are not the core of the family; parents and children together form the family's core.
5. Families centered solely on the child, where the child is the most cherished, overwhelm the child and leave them unfulfilled.
6. Fathers can demonstrate their love for Mom to their child through these actions:
a) Affirming words; (Look, what a wonderful mother you have!)
b) Acts of service;(I'm happy to do these things for your mom)
c) Physical touch; (Dad often hugs Mom)
d) Thoughtful moments; (Mom and Dad's time together, children don't need to join)
e) Exchanging gifts; (Pick a bouquet of wildflowers for Mom.)
Father's Responsibility #2: Boys belong to their fathers, girls belong to their mothers.
1. After age 6, boys need greater paternal influence to become men, while girls need maternal influence to become women.
2. Boys under strong maternal influence tend toward irresponsibility, emotional instability, or addictive behaviors.
3. Girls raised under a dominant father may lack femininity and often choose unsuitable partners for marriage.
4. Fathers should draw boys closer to themselves and encourage them to join male peer groups.
5. Fathers should praise mothers to draw daughters closer and encourage them to build friendships with women.
6. Children will believe: If I become like Dad (Mom), I will gain more of Mom's (Dad's) love, not lose it.
7. Words fathers can say to sons:
a) You can be just like Dad!
b) Let Dad help you!
c) Let's do this together!Let's do something for Mom together!
Father's Responsibility Three: Empowering Children with Fatherly Strength.
1. Allow children to fail, and help them understand:
a) Only the task fails, not the person.
b) The effort to try matters more than success or failure.
c) There's always something valuable to learn from failure.
d) Daddy will never blame or criticize you for failing.
2. If Daddy can't allow himself to fail, he usually can't allow his child to fail either.
3. When Daddy responds to his child's achievements with childlike excitement, the child feels truly encouraged.
4. When Daddy hugs his child often, the child gains strength.