I. When you feel angry, first ask yourself: "Is this anger justified?"
Researchers have specifically studied anger, and their findings are surprising: most anger experienced in daily life is unwarranted. Here are a few examples:
1. When someone unintentionally or unavoidably "offends" you.For instance, being bumped on the street, stepped on in a bus, or having your clothes accidentally stained by a waiter at a restaurant—these are all situations where anger is unwarranted.
2. Actions by individuals in abnormal states or under abnormal circumstances. When someone is ill, mentally unstable, intoxicated, or in a state of extreme rage, their words and actions often become abnormal. They may speak harshly, damaging others' self-esteem, or commit harmful acts.
3. Trivial, insignificant matters. For example, being short-changed by a few grams when buying fruit, having a meal burnt by your spouse, or a child accidentally breaking something—these are all matters not worth getting angry over.
3. Trivial, petty matters. For instance, being short-changed a few ounces at the fruit stand, your spouse burning dinner, or a child accidentally breaking something—these are not worth getting angry over. If you do get upset over such trifles, you should calmly acknowledge your own shortcoming: a lack of magnanimity.
4. Rumors, hearsay, and gossip—ignore them. If you hear them, don't believe them lightly, and certainly don't get angry over them.First, approach rumors with calmness and reflection: What motives might the source have? What is their relationship with the subject? How reliable is the information? Besides, even emperors have been cursed behind their backs—what harm is there in a few whispered comments? Getting angry over such things is pure "punishing yourself for others' mistakes," a foolish act unworthy of the wise.
All these are types of anger that should not be indulged. If everyone took the time to categorize and reflect on their anger at its onset, they would likely discover that the vast majority are unwarranted. Once recognized, the anger naturally dissipates quickly.
Recommended Reading: Five Psychological Issues You Need Not Worry About
II. Anger Should Be Released as Quickly as Possible.
A wise suggestion is to limit anger to no more than three minutes. The sooner you calm down, the better. Of course, this is easier said than done. When angry, emotions surge, narrowing one's perspective and making them prone to fixating on minor issues—the primary obstacle to calming down. To overcome this, actively employ the following methods:
1. Immediately leave the scene and the person who provoked you. Find a quiet place to read or engage in another activity. This is the "distraction method."
2. Confide in a close friend or trusted confidant. Share your grievances to seek comfort, guidance, and perspective. This accelerates the cooling-off process. This is the "venting method."
3. Take a walk outdoors, stroll through a nearby park, or play your favorite songs or music on a tape recorder. Shifting your focus to other things will naturally ease your frustration. This is the "distraction method."
4. Dive straight into a beloved hobby—sing karaoke, paint a picture, play an instrument...This is called the "sublimation method."
When something deeply infuriating occurs, maintaining "calm composure" is difficult. Though you cannot control whether events unfold as desired, you can manage your emotions and the duration of your anger. Reduce the intensity of your "anger," shorten its duration, and preserve psychological equilibrium.
Top Articles on Little Cabin of the Soul, September 25-30
Five Honest Truths About Men Having Affairs 1400972
10 Things Men Love Doing Behind Their Partners' Backs 1008511
> Revealing Her Sexual Attitude Through Her Sitting Posture 923058
10 Warm Gestures from Wives That Make Husbands Cherish Them More 852070
Refusing to Split the Bill? I Was Stripped Naked and Made to Stand Outside All Night 813905
Top 10 Celebrity Sexless Marriages (Photo Gallery) 766246
>Girlfriend Too Conservative? I Tasted Forbidden Fruit with a Colleague 695481
8 Reasons Men Are Obsessed with "Red-Cheeked Confidantes" 669083
Reflecting on Infidelity: How Women Can Guard Against Mistresses 631522
A Man's "Romantic History" Has Little to Do with His Character 605394