Xiao Zou (pseudonym), a third-grade elementary student, frequently ranked first on exams. His parents often praised him as the smartest child. After one exam where he underperformed and received a disappointing score, he came home declaring he didn't want to study anymore. His parents were alarmed. After persistent questioning, Xiao Zou finally choked out, "I didn't get first place on this math test. I only scored over 80...Does that mean I'm not smart anymore? Am I not the smartest kid? My teacher and classmates will definitely laugh at me..."
Psychologists advise that during elementary school, parents should help children experience success to build confidence. However, constantly praising a child as "smart and capable" can foster a fragile mindset, making them fear failure and unable to cope with setbacks. Parents should help children understand that while success is desirable, failure is inevitable.
Conversely, when children face setbacks and seek adult help, lacking timely parental encouragement or encountering misunderstanding and rejection can foster inferiority complexes, stubbornness, or even extreme behaviors. Conversely, patient adult guidance cultivates positive communication habits, gradually developing a character capable of honest and bold interaction.
So how can parents enhance their child's resilience? Teacher Tang Jing suggests that when children encounter difficulties during play—such as a nearly completed "skyscraper" collapsing while building blocks—parents should resist immediate intervention upon seeing their child's disappointment. Instead, discuss the situation with them, prompting reflection on why the structure failed, then let them resolve it independently.When they rebuild the "tower," they gain greater accomplishment and confidence. Additionally, when playing with children, adults shouldn't habitually lose on purpose. Instead, occasionally play games where losing still earns rewards. This approach helps balance a child's aversion to losing. Of course, the reward should be contingent on the child analyzing why they lost.
Children's mental health is increasingly drawing attention from parents and teachers alike. How to communicate effectively with children is a common concern for every parent. The emergence of psychological experts has simplified communication with children. Parents may also consider adjusting their parenting approaches. Attend Li Zixun's family therapy workshop to learn how to interact with children and foster better relationships, thereby enhancing their education and supporting healthier development.