Those with premarital anxiety often ask themselves: "Marriage feels like an unfathomable well surrounding me. Can I truly spend my life with him? Will I get along with his family? Will my mother-in-law demand too much of me?"; "How much do I love her? Am I willing to give up the freedom of single life for her? Am I prepared to alter my lifestyle and social circle for marriage?"
Among those experiencing pre-marriage anxiety, women significantly outnumber men, and their fears differ greatly. Women primarily worry about marriage bringing uncertainty and love fading. This stems mainly from stressful lives, where they yearn for a carefree existence. Hearing frequent discussions about marriage—especially those involving marital conflicts and responsibilities—fosters fear and avoidance.
If you worry about compatibility for future life together, after experiencing a series of "symptoms," both partners might consider visiting each other's homes more often. Get to know his/her family or talk more about his/her family members. This allows you to directly or indirectly understand the lifestyle habits of future family members. This process is also a gradual psychological adjustment.
When plagued by doubts and fears about marital longevity, maintain an open mindset and actively communicate with your partner to dispel these concerns. If your partner suddenly expresses reluctance to marry, avoid hastily dismissing your relationship. Instead, inquire about the specific worries and reservations causing their hesitation. Resolving these issues effectively can greatly benefit your married life.
Test: Do You Have Pre-Marriage Anxiety?
Below is a brief assessment of marriage anxiety. Rate each of the 20 statements using "Strongly Agree (A)", "Somewhat Agree (B)", or "Disagree (C)":
1. Marriage will restrict my freedom.
2. Marriage will leave me in debt.
3. I'm not sure if I truly love her/him.
4. I don't know if he/she is the right person for me.
5. Marriage will take away my personal space.
6. Getting married will drain all my savings.
7. I only agreed to consider marriage because of his/her persistent pressure.
8. If I don't marry, he/she will leave me.
9. Marriage will cause me to lose many friends.
10. I'm afraid to tell him/her I don't like him/her.
11. My parents demand I marry quickly.
12. We haven't seriously discussed life after marriage.
13. The thought of marriage gives me a headache.
14. I've been living with him/her for some time.
15. Marriage would stop people from gossiping about my life.
16. I feel I couldn't bear the responsibility of loving him/her after marriage.
17. We haven't reached a mutual agreement about marriage.
18. I hope marriage will resolve conflicts between us.
19. I want to maintain my previous lifestyle after marriage.
20. I still love another man.
Answer Analysis
If the total number of A and B selections is less than or equal to 3, you have no fear of marriage.
If the sum of choices A (Am) and B (Bm) exceeds 3, calculate your score: Sm = Am + Bm / 2. If Sm is above 18, you have severe marriage anxiety; if Sm is between 11–17, you have moderate anxiety; if Sm is below 10, you have mild anxiety.