For parents, their children are their pride and joy. However, because most children today are only children, parents often spoil them excessively. Children get whatever they want, becoming little tyrants at home whom no one dares to cross. Yet from a mental health perspective, this kind of excessive indulgence is deeply misguided. To foster a child's psychological well-being, it is essential to prioritize building a healthy parent-child relationship.
【The Optimal Period for Parenting is Before Age 12】
Emotional nurturing matters more than material security; character education is more important than intellectual development. The key to effective family education lies in educating the parents.
In families that firmly say "no" to unreasonable demands, children learn early on that they are not special exceptions at home. Such children constantly feel their parents' love, yet this love is grounded in principles. Raised within these boundaries, they grow into principled adults. Human development roughly occurs in three phases: ages 1–6, 6–12, and 12–18.From ages 12 to 18, individuals enter adolescence. Their emerging independence and rebellious mindset mean this period is no longer optimal for family education. Therefore, the prime time for family education is before age 12—the attachment phase.
【Mothers Should Not Leave Children Before Age 12】
Within the attachment phase, ages 1–6 are most critical. Yet many parents today undervalue the development of their child's "attachment bond." If a mother sends her newborn back to her hometown to be raised by grandparents, only to bring the child back when school age begins, a lifelong emotional distance may form between mother and child. This makes disciplining the child during adolescence particularly challenging.It is recommended that mothers personally raise their children from birth and remain with them until age 12. Without a secure attachment bond in early childhood and proper character development from parents, such children may exhibit issues like truancy, lying, internet addiction, defiance toward parents, or running away from home by age 18.
【Fathers Should Not Leave Children During Adolescence】
Before age 6, a child's primary attachment figure should be the mother. The period for fostering genuine attachment to the father is around adolescence. Parental roles are distinct: mothers primarily provide daily care, while fathers serve as behavioral role models. For instance, a mother changing diapers involves one-on-one interaction with verbal communication and physical contact, whereas a nanny's diaper changes are mechanical.
Particularly between ages six and twelve, both parents should actively fulfill their roles. After age twelve, fathers must assume primary responsibility for their children's education. After all, fathers serve as internalized role models for their children. When fathers exemplify positive behavior, children naturally emulate them, building an internalized image of their father as a towering figure.