Recently, news reported a man who placed his 60-year-old mother in the trunk so his 4-year-old son could sleep in the backseat. When police discovered this, the elderly woman pleaded for her son: "The trunk is quite nice and comfortable. Please don't trouble my boy." This immediately brought to mind that oft-told story about a son who, unable to support his aging mother, decided to carry her up a mountain to abandon her.At dusk, the son deceived his mother into climbing onto his back for a "mountain walk." As the son strained to climb higher, he turned to find his mother scattering beans along his path. Furious, he assumed she was marking their way. But the mother, trembling, explained, "Silly son, I'm afraid you'll get lost coming down alone!" This bittersweet expression of maternal love seems timeless.Throughout history, the role of a mother has been defined by sacrifice, selflessness, and expectation of no return. But can such maternal love truly bring happiness to a child? Consider the middle-aged man in the news, caught between caring for elderly parents and young children. To ensure his child's comfort, he placed his mother in the trunk of his car. This "powerful" example truly taught his child a vivid lesson.Consider another tale: A son and daughter-in-law disdained their mother’s frail, unsteady hands holding utensils, so they crafted a small wooden bowl for her. Their young son innocently declared, "I’ll save this wooden bowl for when you grow old!" This reveals the profound influence parents wield over children—their actions are observed with crystal clarity and readily imitated.Therefore, when we fail to treat the elderly well, we should not be surprised to find ourselves without support in old age.
Four Habits to Avoid If You Want Your Children to Be Filial (Public Health Network)
When parents habitually say things like, "Child, all the good food in the house is yours!" "Sweetheart, we'd sacrifice everything for you!" or "Just focus on your studies—Mom will handle everything else!" and similar phrases become their catchphrases, children drift further and further from filial piety!
1. Spoiling Does Not Raise Filial Children
Parents who spoil their children from infancy cannot cultivate filial offspring.In an environment of excessive indulgence, everything revolves blindly around the child. This only fosters selfishness and extremism. The child may seem stable when everything goes smoothly, but the slightest disappointment triggers various symptoms (crying, tantrums, threats—tactics specifically designed to manipulate indulgent parents)...Such parent-child dynamics are unhealthy, and children raised in this manner rarely grow to honor the parents who once indulged them.
II. Without Proper Respect for Elders, There Can Be No Filial Children
Proper respect for elders doesn't mean traditional authoritarianism where parents dictate everything and children obey blindly. Rather, it means fostering a democratic family atmosphere where all members are treated as equals. Children should be allowed to have their own opinions, perspectives, and behaviors.However, due to their age, children often lack sufficient perspective and maturity, necessitating appropriate parental guidance. Whether children genuinely respect their parents depends on the parents' ability to attract their children through personal charm and cultivation, not through coercion: "I'm your parent, so you must obey me." "I give you money, so you must listen to me."...Such parent-child relationships are unhealthy and equally incapable of fostering filial children. III. Without Parental Role Modeling, There Can Be No Filial Children Every parent is a child to their own parents. Therefore, how parents treat their own parents and their spouse's parents serves as the most direct and effective lesson for their children. If parents frequently talk back to, defy, or disrespect their own parents, it becomes difficult for children to develop the respect they should have for them.Every family has its own challenges, especially the age-old mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dynamic—a relationship fraught with subtlety. Yet mothers wield immense influence over their children. If a mother fails to honor her own mother-in-law, the impact on her child is profound.Of course, the legendary stories of cruel mothers-in-law and vicious mothers cannot be summed up in a few words. But everything has its causes and effects. If you truly encounter such problems, beyond fulfilling your filial duties, maintain a dignified yet unassuming attitude. You can share the story with your child when they are old enough to understand, presenting the facts impartially and calmly. Children possess their own keen judgment and know right from wrong.
IV. Without "starting with small matters and gradually cultivating filial piety," the habit of respect won't take root.
Beginning with everyday tasks, willingly involving children in age-appropriate chores truly hones their character. This also helps them develop consideration for others and learn to care for those around them. Throughout parenting, parents must avoid positioning themselves either too high or too low in the child's eyes.Beyond demanding academic performance, parents often pamper children excessively. When parents whirl around like spinning tops managing household chores, children eat and drink without a care, oblivious to the effort. When treats appear, children take the largest portions or even all of them, while parents merely take a symbolic bite... Such children will carry these habits into adulthood, feeling justified in relying on their parents indefinitely.From now on, tell your child: Care for your parents as they care for you; share household chores within your capabilities; lend a hand when parents are busy; contribute your fair share to family life!