Xinxin is a little girl in kindergarten's senior class. She's loved playing house since she was little, often forcing her parents to join her in kindergarten games. She'd be the kindergarten teacher, making her parents the little kids, sometimes sternly scolding them for "being naughty."A few days ago, Xinxing's mom took her to Thursday Town for role-playing experiences—"to let her play her fill." Yet both returned home unhappy. Mom complained, "Xinxing only played boring games. She refused to be a flight attendant or firefighter—I was so frustrated watching her." Xinxing pouted, "Mom kept telling me what to do. It wasn't fun at all."
This scenario is increasingly common. Parents, fearing their children might miss out, push them to participate in activities adults deem valuable, yet the children often see things differently. Early childhood education experts advise parents: Since it's playtime, let children engage in what they enjoy. Gentle encouragement is fine, but never force them to play.
From Encouragement to Coercion
At many playgrounds, parents constantly direct their children to play this or that. At the ball pit, five-year-old Xingxing loved lying in the ocean of balls, "enjoying" the sensation. But her mom, standing outside the pit, kept urging her to get up and try other activities. Reluctantly, Xingxing slid down the slide twice just to get back into the ball pit.
Mengmeng has recently become obsessed with playing in sand. A nearby house under construction has a pile of yellow sand in front of it. After meals, Mengmeng sneaks off with her shovel and scoop to play in the sand. Rarely getting to play alone, she squats on the ground, scooping, tossing, and filling sand, completely absorbed.The kicked-up sand inevitably stuck to her clothes, but Mengmeng's mom believed there was nothing wrong with letting her child do what she loved. ■ Expert Commentary We often see introverted children being pressured by parents to play. On inflatable play pads, timid kids hesitate to climb the tallest "mountain," prompting parents to sternly "encourage" them: "Go on, if you don't go, we're going home and not playing anymore."Most children comply with a long face.
In truth, children have their own choices and judgments. Smart kids first observe from the sidelines. Only when they're confident they can participate and enjoy the game do they actively join in. When they lack confidence, parents shouldn't follow the pattern of "encourage—disappoint—force." Otherwise, the game loses its purpose of relaxation and joy.
True education leaves no trace
Like many six-year-olds, Mao Mao would cry out to buy things he liked. His parents often taught him that earning money was hard and life required frugality, but the little guy had no concept of it.Mom took him to experience jobs like pilot, police officer, architect, and pastry chef. The five jobs combined only earned 25 E-coins. Making a cake cost 18 E-coins, and suddenly Mao Mao felt the sting. He firmly refused to spend another 20 E-coins on a bag of popcorn, insisting he'd save the remaining "money"—with interest.Maomao's mom seized the moment to teach him: "Now you understand how hard Mom and Dad work, right? Do you still want to buy toys recklessly?" The little guy thought for a moment and replied wisely, "I understand," leaving his parents deeply touched.■Expert Commentary
Many children find their parents' constant nagging irritating, and parents themselves feel torn: say too little, and the child won't listen; say too much, and they feel like they're being overly repetitive. So why not let children experience things firsthand? Real-life experiences are far more effective than a hundred lectures.
Ask About Their Preferences
Lingling's neighborhood playground is where Grandma often takes her to play. On crowded Sundays, Grandma guards the swings for her. Whenever a swing opens up, she shouts, "Lingling, come swing!" But Lingling isn't interested: "I don't like swinging. You swing!" Her response leaves Grandma both amused and exasperated.
When Yaya's mom takes her to the science museum, she always hopes Yaya will try more exhibits: "Let's go to the 'Food Journey' exhibit." But Yaya is afraid of dark spaces and refuses to go. When pushed, she'll enter with her eyes closed and ears covered, refusing to look or listen.
Xinxin felt the same way at Thursday Town. While waiting in line outside the delivery company, her mom spotted an empty spot at the newspaper booth across the way and suggested she try being a junior reporter. Xinxin wasn't thrilled. After a long pause, she suddenly snapped, "Mom, couldn't you just ask me what I like to do?" Parents often believe they're acting in their child's best interest, but even young children can feel frustrated by this.■Expert Commentary
Many parents start out with the principle of letting children make their own decisions when playing. Yet once the fun begins, they often can't resist micromanaging—sometimes even forgetting to ask their child what they actually enjoy.We want children to have full autonomy in choosing, yet fear they'll suffer losses due to inexperience, thus stripping them of the right to freely arrange their own activities.
We hope parents will respect their children's feelings, allowing their little ones to gain experience through so-called "losses" and grow up happily. When we respect children, they will be more willing to listen to guidance.