My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years. When we first discussed marriage two years ago, his mother suggested consulting a fortune-teller to select an auspicious wedding date. Afterward, she refused food and drink for days, claiming our zodiac signs were incompatible and demanding we break up.
To put it bluntly, my boyfriend is somewhat blindly filial. He immediately agreed to end the relationship.At first, I couldn't understand his mother's superstition or his blind obedience—it hurt deeply. He explained that as a child, he'd strongly disagreed with her religious practices and even smashed one of her deity statues. That incident nearly killed her with grief. Witnessing her rage—how she nearly fainted and then refused food and water—terrified him. Since then, he's never dared oppose her beliefs.
We tried breaking up several times but couldn't part ways because we truly loved each other and were perfectly suited in daily life. We were both simple, gentle people. Working in the city, we'd long grown accustomed to caring for and supporting each other.
So it often happened that he'd receive calls from his mother right in front of me, telling him which relatives she'd asked to set him up with potential partners and urging him to go on blind dates.He'd always agree politely, then postpone when possible. If he couldn't avoid it, he'd go meet the girl with a relative.
Afterward, he'd tell me about the girl's background—usually better than mine, but he felt nothing. We'd carry on with our life. My boyfriend started thinking about how to confront his mother. He'd already decided to marry me, but lacked the courage to get past her.
A while back, his mother was visiting his sister and passed through our city. He went to the station to pick her up, and they sat together talking for hours. After returning, he told me his mother had agreed to our marriage. She wanted me to visit his hometown during the National Day holiday so they could find a fortune teller to read our compatibility.
I was astonished he'd found the courage to confess to his mother. He said she'd broached the subject first. He explained that her beliefs weren't entirely "superstition"—she had an uncanny "sense" about many things. Though he'd told her we'd broken up over the past two years, she could "see" we'd always been together. Her constant matchmaking attempts were meant to separate us, hoping he'd find a better match.
He then recounted numerous examples from his village of couples who married despite incompatible zodiac signs, only to face endless troubles and misfortunes. He warned that if we married, he would bring misfortune upon me, and I would bring misfortune upon his mother.To minimize the calamity, he insisted we must consult a fortune-teller before the wedding to find a way to break the curse. One method, he said, was that on our wedding day, we couldn't see each other. I would have to wear one of his black cotton jackets and enter his family's home, staying inside the house all day without coming out.
Regarding my own wedding, I don't care about rings, wedding dresses, a new home, or dowry. But I truly want to stand beside him joyfully, receiving blessings from both sets of parents and loved ones—not sneak into the house like a ghost in a black cotton coat and never emerge again.
Yet I'm also terrified that if I don't follow his mother's demands—or those of the fortune-teller she hired—any future troubles in our life, or even a minor headache his mother gets, will be blamed on me...
Honestly, his mother's superstitions have hurt me deeply. Yet I still respect her from the bottom of my heart. Through countless casual chats with my boyfriend, I know she's a hardworking, capable, and frugal rural woman. Though she has little formal education, she saved every penny earned from cutting shoe pads, scrimping and saving to send two children through university.
We're both children of the countryside with similar life experiences, and I believe his mother is just as remarkable as mine. But because of this superstition, I genuinely don't know how to navigate our relationship anymore.