We navigate daily life through a constant interplay of persuading and being persuaded. Prestigious business schools often refer to this skill as "negotiation power." What's the secret to enhancing negotiation power? Through extensive experiments, social psychologists have identified two crucial psychological effects, dubbed the "foot-in-the-door effect" and the "face-saving effect."
In modern society, persuading others to achieve one's goals requires psychological finesse. Girlfriends often try to persuade boyfriends to buy them more designer handbags; employees aim to persuade bosses for higher pay raises; bosses seek to persuade employees to work harder for less pay;As children, we try to persuade our parents to spank us less when our grades are poor; as parents, we constantly try to persuade our children to play fewer video games and read more books.
It can be said that we live daily amidst "persuading" and "being persuaded." Some prestigious business schools euphemistically call the ability to persuade others "negotiation skills." Where lies the secret to improving these "negotiation skills"?Through extensive experiments, social psychologists have identified two crucial psychological effects, named the "foot-in-the-door effect" and the "face-saving effect." Let's now explore these two phenomena.
The "Foot-in-the-Door Effect": Getting a Small Concession to Build on
Consider an experiment conducted by psychologists Friedman and Frazier.They sent a college student to visit housewives, asking them to sign a petition about safe driving—a harmless request that all the women agreed to.
Two weeks later, another student was dispatched with instructions from the psychologists.The psychologists divided their targets into two groups: those previously approached and those not yet approached. The student made the same request to both groups: to place a large, ugly traffic safety sign in their backyards—a sign so unsightly it would be an eyesore.As the psychologist predicted, over 70% of the first group complied with this unreasonable request and erected the sign in their yards. In contrast, only 17% of the second group agreed to the request.Why? Psychologists suggest that everyone has a desire to maintain a consistent self-image. Once they demonstrate kindness, friendliness, or cooperation, they become willing to incur additional costs—sometimes exceeding their own limits—to avoid "damaging their image."Psychologists call this the "foot-in-the-door" effect. In other words, you can employ a "take advantage of the situation" approach: first make a minor request, allowing the other party to establish a positive self-image by agreeing to it, then present a much larger request. Driven by the subconscious tendency to maintain consistency, the other party is far more likely to agree.
Suggestion: As the ancient Chinese poem says, "Like the wind slipping in at night, it nourishes all things silently." Persuasion works the same way. If you want a designer bag, start by asking for a small bottle of perfume. Once you get it, lavish praise on their thoughtfulness and taste. When the timing feels right, make your real request. Even if they're reluctant, they might grit their teeth and comply just to maintain their image as a "model husband."Of course, the frequency of using these techniques depends on how well you know the other person.
"The Face-Saving Effect": Asking for an Inch to Get a Mile
While the "Foot-in-the-Door Technique" involves gaining an inch to ask for a mile, the "Face-Saving Effect" is about "asking for a mile to get an inch." Let's examine an encounter described by renowned psychologist Robert Cialdini.
"I was walking down the street when I encountered a boy of about eleven or twelve. He introduced himself and explained that the Boy Scouts' annual circus performance was scheduled for Saturday evening, and he was selling tickets. He asked if I'd like to purchase a $5 ticket.I had no desire to waste my precious Saturday evening watching a Boy Scout circus, so I declined. 'Okay,' he said, 'if you don't want a ticket, how about buying a few chocolate bars? Just a dollar each.' I bought two, but immediately realized something odd had happened: because: 1. I wasn't particularly interested in chocolate bars;2. I like cash; 3. I was standing there holding two chocolate bars looking foolish; 4. He walked away with my money."
What exactly happened here? Let's look at a psychological experiment. Researchers recruited two groups of college students for an experiment. For the first group, researchers directly asked them to take a group of children to the zoo. Less than 20% agreed to this request.For the second group, researchers first asked them to volunteer as counselors at a juvenile detention center for a year—a daunting request that nearly all students refused. Then, researchers "settled for less" and asked them to take some children to the zoo. Compared to volunteering at a detention center, this seemed like a piece of cake.Moreover, having already declined a larger request, it felt awkward to refuse again. Now it was merely a small favor—why not agree? Consequently, over half of the students accepted this request.Psychologists call this the "face-saving effect." People feel that refusing others damages their image as "compassionate" and "helpful," leaving them with some guilt. When the other person makes a small request, it gives them a chance to restore their good image and achieve psychological balance—why not?If your goal is simply to get a bottle of perfume, try this tactic: ask your husband for a designer handbag. After he refuses, present your real request. He might relent out of reluctance to say no, and you'll achieve your objective.
However, be cautious: savvy salespeople often exploit this psychological tendency to push their products. Psychological studies show that shoppers who reject a salesperson's high-end recommendation often don't mind buying a cheap trinket or two. So keep your guard up when shopping.